Read Me

My strength

2011-03-18T06:44:00.000-07:00

I love every moment of my life. Even when it is devoid of company, when emptiness fills in the hollow space in my life. I live my life for myself and my loved ones. I used to be a strong person, hardcore, some will say..but of late, I noticed the concrete structure I built, to protect myself from getting easily hurt is beginning to fall to shambles. I'm ashamed for letting myself feel so vulnerable over silly things. I must be strong again.

convalescence

2010-04-28T05:40:00.000-07:00

I'm still thinking of the reason that spurred me to start blogging, which, in this instance couldn't be classified as blogging because you're supposed to update it regularly, but this is completely unacceptable.
I have long accepted that I will somehow lead a really lonely life and end up being a cat woman, honestly speaking..and how ironic it is, since I really hate the cat living under my roof irrevocably. To make things worse, I finally had it figured that I don't have a hobby to fall back on when I'm old and sick with no one there for me. Ok hell with it.

The main purpose of me blogging is that, I truly miss the IIUM Debate Championship. Sorely. It seemed as if it was going to be a winding week, brainstorming ideas, thrashing the brain around, but as it is, reality always beat time faster than ever. Before it even started, it ended. And, as a girl who is going through PMS I find it reasonable to brood over it weeks after the championship.
How great was it anyway?

First, I loved the championship dinner because everyone looked so pretty and was at their best, I guess..(some people just had to take pride of their school uniform and wear it pompously) the food wasn't that great, but the graphics of the slide show was spectacular!

Moving on to the first day of the debate, was super hectic. As this was our first time at IIUM, everything is foreign and of course we had to sprint like marathon runners to the provided destination and then, battle our wits out. Its actually rather cool, in retrospect. Of the other days, it was exactly the same, except for the level of fun, it fluctuates within the schools, adjudicators and number of wins of course. I'm proud to say that our school didn't do that bad, considering we're novices in debate, had no training, no practices whatsoever, but yet we still have profound knowledge on NPT. Whats that? Go figure :)

Dato' CQ Teoh Debate Championship

2010-03-18T07:30:00.000-07:00

A hiatus from that 3 day debate tournament is really gratifying. Having said that, I miss KDU College immensely as I'm typing now. The first step in a foreign place usually gives you that flutter in the stomach what more when you're dreading dealing with debates for the coming days.
So there we were, (Yusintha, Dakshan, Sable, Nabihah, Aiman and me) looking in to the alienated yet spacious auditorium which would of course be our haven for relaxing our nerves later on.. Then, comes the superior looking nemesis from other schools, with their stuck-up faces and posh coats..I wonder why can't we have some of those too..???
Anyways, it was a long wait before the roll calls and release of motions. The first round didn't suck as how I secretly predicted..It went quite smoothly against LaSalle..I have to admit, in the history of me debating, so far, I have only debated against an all-boys team. Lucky me! No bitchy insults or whatsoever. The second round turned out as a jackpot for us, well, especially me and Sable, since we did the same motion last year. I would literally kill myself if we didn't win, which we did anyway, and hence saved myself from the unnecessary :)
To which this day ended with everyone burdened with some nasty headaches..Oh, before that, Ms Rosyada brought Dev, Shyam and Alya along as to gain exposure to the world of debate. Nice to have Dev scrambling around taking shots of us and the whole college with that fancy camera of his :)

The second day of Dato' CQ Teoh debate didn't run well in favour for my team the very least, team A did better. It was a total loss for team B except fot the silent round, where it was expected and humbly predicted that we won..I should think so.. So, towards the end of the day, team B wasn't quite optimistic about breaking into the top16..which we didn't.

Our expectations for team A breaking into Octofinals fell hard as they weren't even near the top scores (scoring a 2/5 wins) It was a pretty bleak day, but nevertheless, we stayed back i.e me, Aiman, Dakshan, Pn Safrina and Ms Rosyada to watch the top16 teams battle through the theme: USA..My first thought was die,die,die!! Surprisingly, this theme didn't serve to crash some teams spirits, like KGV. Hats down to them for delivering a super and solid informative presentation to the audience who were listening to them with mouths agog.. Honestly..they were damn good. Crushing the opponent with all they've got, never letting their ego get the better of them and I think, conclusively won this tournament. They deserve it, seriously.

All in all, I really miss this one helluva experience and am hoping to make it to UIA if selected. Hmm..crap.I really miss the auditorium toilet.Its like a five-star hotel toilet, SERIOUSLY :D.
Oh wait, And also that cute SAB guy whose name is coincidentally Izzat, Izzat Zalis and also the respectful and awesome LaSalle boys. They are so nice and gracious to us :)

SPM Results Day

2010-03-10T23:54:00.000-08:00

I stare at my blog and I feel the pathetic blow for leaving it inactive since end of last year. Its funny, how you think you can babble out all sorts of things but as you sit facing the computer, your mind goes totally blank. I was reminded of my blog sometime when Dakshan asked why have I not blogged anymore. A gentle nudge for me to be horrified with myself for abandoning this blog. Poor baby..

Since I have not blog since January, so I might just as well update my current status. School has been fun as ever. Even being an exco in the prefects' body isn't that onerous. Its quite relaxed to be frank. February test just passed and March test is lurking around the corner. My results weren't that bad, its just that I was pinning my hopes higher than usual. And of course, as I happen to be blogging today, its is of course the day SPM results are released. So, there were many hopeful scholars who pulled off amazing results. It certainly gives me a surge of pride for my school and them of course. And not to forget, the additional stress as I am also pinning my hopes high to be like one of them.. It would be great to score all straight A+.

Not to forget also, tomorrow I will be participating in the CQ TEO Debate Championship at KDU, Petaling Jaya. Its daunting, and I'm sure my bundle of nerves will get to me tomorrow. Its parliamentary style debate, formal, yes and the best part of it? We're given 20 minutes to brainstorm for our points and facts. Thats the scary part. To make matter worse, I've heard rumours that debaters from schools in petaling jaya are hell awesome, so timid me is just going to rot and wither in front of an audience, I SO HOPE NOT! I'm just praying that we can go far in this competition and if miracles still happen, that I can clinch the award 'Best Speaker' for at least once.

Retarded

2010-01-28T00:27:00.000-08:00

This blog is left dormant ever since I don't know when.

I'm just retardedly blogging with no purpose, perhaps just letting out the frustration through typing. Its the end of January already and I'm incessantly procrastinating my homeworks and chores. SPM, SPM, SPM..Its not haunting when you hear people talk about it, but it becomes annoying to the ears.

Back to school. I will universally proclaim that some prefects are stupid and have no cow sense. They get irked by the slightest jibe and wouldn't forgive the world for it. I don't understand that they couldn't grasp the ultimate meaning of duty, obligatory.. Gosh, they are retarded as I am tOO.

Life can't be any harder can they??

2010-01-23T05:23:00.000-08:00

Its not much of a struggle in Form 5, I've been enjoying school actually..to a point where we, people ourselves create insignificant problems to jeopardize people's lives. Take mine for example, I'm just incessantly strafed with problems to worry on and matters to ponder on. Or its just me, thinking that life has become so hard. Maybe its hard for anyone anyways. I have to officially proclaim that Saturdays are probably the most boring day of the week. First, school was a big sucker and a waste of time. The others played charades while I'm busy chatting away about guys, marriage and careers..then came the book later. Secondly, there is hardly anything interesting to watch on TV. Third, odious things just had to happen on Saturdays..really..

Parents could just be the sole reason of frustration in your teenage live. They don't give a single thought on your needs and thinks everything we want is frivolous and purely destructive. I'm so forlorned and desolated. There's nobody to talk to right now..Everyone is just busy. I hate trapping this queasy feeling in me, but I guess nature is forcing me to without any choices given.

Pancakes and Blueberries

2010-01-14T00:24:00.000-08:00

SPM is months away and I'm still goofing around at home. I have this really hectic schedule and am planning to make it inhumanely worst to score my best for it. Heck, my cousins aggregation for O-levels is 8/10, and that piece of bothering fact is making me gravitate towards my study table almost everyday. If she could do a much tougher syllabus in 4 years, then I'll have to score better with an easier, straightforward syllabus in five. Unfair?? She's a bloody genius. Burn the midnight oil they said. Deficient of rest, I should say, it had been making me cantankerous and gloomy. I don't feel like talking to anyone at home. The only remedy is perhaps school. I'm happy there. And my so-called 'naked' table is my lovely sanctuary of my study sessions. And to have friends by you all the time adds greatness to everything! (finally, after solitary for 2 long months) As, they then say, life is a full circle, it never ceases to bring sadness. Forlorned and devastated as I can be, I'm doing my best to mask it from public's eye. No point having them to know, yet the only point of me writing this is just to let it out. Who cries in the car (whose mum doesn't even notice), in the showers, and most ridiculously, while cycling? Thats funny though, crying while cycling, who could ever imagine that. And to top it over, you have no one to talk to. Your mum doesn't respond the way that could allay your thoughts, your friends are an impossibility to tell (they would think I'm an insane psychopath), and the most trusted person you have is not there for you. So, you let the motion past and its over. They ask the usual 'whats going on' and you reply, the casual, 'nothing'. So nothing it is. I'll just let it fall into oblivion.

Now why am I emotional???

2009-12-28T22:41:00.000-08:00

Holidays are always a tad too long for me to handle. From the moment the school bell rings , you get all that adrenaline rush and speed home to catch the latest drama. Then comes all the plan you had planned for the holiday. Then it gets boring, I mean absolutely boring. My two week return from Egypt hadn't been filled with any significance. Consider this, idiot box and sleep. Well, maybe I'm a bit productive, say 4 books in two weeks, not bad huh? Apart from that, I'm pretty much lackadaisical, mooching about with nothing to do. Unbelievably, but I'm hoping to finish SPM this year. At least it keeps my brains whirring rather total inactivity. Relatives walk in and out, but nothing much has been brought into the house. Just movies, luncheons, dinners and shopping. It gets tiring, totally. Just a few more days to school, already counting down.

My journal on the entire trip to Egypt

2009-12-23T05:05:00.000-08:00

Dear diary,
Being in the plane for almost 10 hours could almost give me claustrophobia. Its pure boredom sitting stuck at a place and have nothing to do besides watching outdated movies..

Its winter here, but it feels like spring..and yeah, no snow of course. I love my first step out of the airport. Egypt welcomed us with a really nice breeze along with the jovial faces of my cousin and her friends. I foresaw that it was going to be a great day.

The house we rented was an Arab-styled house..it had so many rooms I wondered who'll be sleeping in them. Its not quite cosy after all...I suppose I need some time to adapt myself in this new, foreign place.

Ustaz Razi, Baba's acquaintance was such a dear to be our tour guide, for the whole stay of 2 weeks here. We hurriedly went to see the magnificent pyramids at Giza. Full of anxiety, we were greeted by the 3 pyramids from far, and was marvelled by its grandeur. I will never forget how spectacularly breathtaking this massive polygonal structure stood, majestically on sand and dirt.
Though its one of the 7 wonders of the world, the pyramids are congested with 'landmines' the size of my shoes. Of whose though, camels and horses. Sheesh..

Dear diary,

We toured around Cairo for 2 long days. Tourist spots like the Citadel was beautiful. I was spellbounded by the architecture of it. Baba said its influenced by the victorian style..
There was also an outdoor exhibition on aircrafts and whatnot. Khan al-Khalili, a bazaar, was more interesting than i could picture. It is psychedelic in its ornaments and trinkets that I couldn't make up my mind on which souvenir to buy, until a week later.

Dear diary,

Salleh was so nice to bring us around although he hadn't recovered from some illness. It was good to spend a whole day with him, getting to know him..well, if he's going to be part of the family. The Museum of Cairo was fascinating. Speak of King Tut's treasure! A really brilliant display of his treasures, gleaming through the protective glasses that encased every single possession of his. Dear King Tut, the murdered boy king...

Dear diary,

Its so long and strenuous, although just sitting in the train for a long period of 15 hours to get to Aswan. Thats the price we had to pay for getting cheap fare to get on the cruise down the nile. The back was aching and yet, we could still be stupendously excited about the cruise.

'Beau Soleil' is the name of our cruise. I thought its cute. Its obviously a 5-star cruise, as the place is so luxurious and comfy. Not a bit of regret having to endure the blistering wind of Egypt to finally be able to relax on the cruise.

A group of us was brought to witness the amazing dam that has controlled the flooding of the Nile for years.. The view was really beautiful, but the suckish part was, we weren't permitted to take any photos. Well, screw the guards, I managed copious of it.

A boat took us to Phillae Temple..what I call, the temple on water. Its so picturesque I must say! So, the guide, who could NOT speak eloquently, struggled at explaining the story behind this wonderful temple. I only managed to catch words like, 'Isis, Osiris, Horus', which are of course, the names of ancient Egypt gods.. I was wistful to not be able to understand it. Nevertheless, it didn't dampen my mood at the very least as I went on venturing every corner of the temple and took abundant of photos.

Dear diary,

We reached Abu Simbel as soon as I woke up in the misty early morning. We decided to skip the 3 hours journey to Abu Simbel Temple at the wee hours of morning. I couldn't help but to agree as we deduced that should every temple be the same. And the long journey was not worth the pain in the ass.. So it was a day off. Went around the souq to help ourselves to some of the local delicacies which I think was much more worth it than visiting another temple.

Dear diary,

What a rush it was to see the Kom Ombo Temple. Hahaha...What a catchy name to begin with! With a lovely breeze to perk our senses up, Kom Ombo Temple certainly gave us a sense of appreciation to ancient history. Furthermore, the guide was so lovely and jocular, everyone enjoyed the tour!
Edfu is another of our stop along the Nile. And of course, they have a temple named Edfu Temple. Since it was already noon, our spirits were nearly sunken by the blazing sun. Nevertheless, with a guide Mama thinks looks like Ferdinand, obviously everyone was uplifted. Too bad, I didn't take a photo with him..

Dear diary,

The day kicked off pretty early today. All I can say, the camaraderie of us gaily chattered on our way to the most significant place in Luxor, Valley of The Kings. Prior to that, we went over to Valley of The Queens, which I didn't know existed, and Hatshepsut Temple. We explored the tombs of 3 princes, I can't remember their names, its too complicated, which was fascinating and interesting..Hatshepsut Temple was much more beautiful. Too bad, it had been rebuilt and restored from its ruins. Still, it was amazing. Lastly, Valley of The Kings. I must say this for once though, I really hate the Egyptian Government for being too prudent and not let us take pictures of the tombs interior. As we explored, the hieroglyphics on the walls depicting stories of the pharoah's life took all of us in. Its still intact in terms of colour and the writings were so intricately done that not even a flaw could be detected. If only I was an Egyptologist, the hieroglyphics would mean great to me.. We tomb-explored Ramses I, Ramses III, and Ramses IV tombs. I must say, the ancient architectures were just brilliant and crafty to have dug a tomb so deep that I don't think any tomb robbers could have survived the deficient air in it. I pity Mama though. She looked so wearied by the time she reached the final stairs..She is supposed to experience a relaxing holiday, but for the sake of a tomb..

Dear diary,

I would certainly miss the Nile cruise. Firstly, it would be the really lip-smacking food we had everyday. I just love all the sweetmeats laid out for us. Just so scrumptious. Secondly, it would be the comfortable room and toilet. Then, the sun deck. Actually, to be honest, I hate it. Simply because it is winter and the wind is really chilly down your bones, I would freeze for staying up there a second. To the end of this fateful day, we made friends with a young, adorable girl named Syukrina. She 'hails' from Singapore and appeared to be a really intelligent girl. We liked her instantly. So, adieu Beau Soleil...

Dear diary,

Immediately after the cruise down the Nile, we took off to Alexandria, once a famous port for its lighthouse, now a peaceful city to live in.. The view was breathtaking..it feels surreal to be here. I'm just completely blown away by the beauty and prior to that, cleanliness of Alexandria. Plus, they actually do have a huge shopping complex. Speaking of civilisation..

We went to this fort called Qait-Bey. Quite enjoyable exploring it, also the joy of learning how military operates from my dad. Meanwhile Alexandria National Library is practically the nicest library I've ever been too. The architecture is exquisite, the outdoor is surrounded with waterfalls.. I really don't mind studying there the whole day, really..

Dear diary,

We have no plans to be exact after our return from Alexandria. Free and easy. Alya and I stayed at Farna's place for 2 nights, where Nisha was there too. I like her. A female version of Kaif, but more friendly and outgoing. The first day we spent time sitting like a statue at her lecture. It was of course, in Arabic, and I could barely understand the lecturer. Maybe a word or two, but I finally decided that it would be a waste of time trying to catch every word she says and interpret it, only to find out minutes later that I'm still blank. So gone was my 2 hours which was spent mostly on reading a book I've already read. It feels weird and foreign around a classroom of Arabs, especially when they peer at you with a frown on the face, trying to figure out which nationality do you belong to. They think I'm Japanese.

I spent the last few days shopping, finalising everything I want.. Also, I have been eating tubs of yoghurt for some strange reason.

Looking out the window at the passing buildings gave me a sad feeling. That was my last ride here in Cairo. A ride that was filled with ringing silence. Time to be sombre and sad. I'm certain I would miss it although the place is like a rotten rubbish dump. Most importantly, I would miss Farna and Nisha, speaking of not having a big sister... The sleepovers at their place was truly unforgettable. Their presence made everything worthwhile and every moment count in Egypt. I don't think I'll have half as much as fun as I did if they weren't there. I miss Egypt already..

I'M BACK!

2009-12-14T23:05:00.000-08:00

There's so much to tell..unfortunately for me, uploading pictures is really onerous. So I presume the whole idea of me posting my journal plus pictures will be a bit delayed. Till then..

2009-11-26T07:52:00.000-08:00

NEW MOON

JACOB BLACK

One word: Awesome

Jakarta

2009-11-24T20:30:00.000-08:00

I'm so relieved to be free from the jam-packed city of Jakarta. Its total madness to be spending half your day at the congested streets and knowing that you won't get anywhere in the following one hour. Frustrating really..Don't go to Jakarta if you don't have an ounce of patience.

Anyways, I'm too lazy to post the pictures of the freakishly grand wedding of my relative..which turn out to be quite fun though..My cousins and I managed to roam around the magnificent hall freely full of gaiety. Well..I suppose when you have thousands of kiosk displaying the most appealing foods to start with. Not to mention that we had fun making fun and provoking the bride and groom for wearing the most provocative outfit ever. Think Putri Gunung Ledang in a blizzard! Almost half naked onstage in their Javanese traditional outfit, we wondered amusingly how could they afford STANDING, greeting their most flamboyant-dressed guests with a big smile pasted on their face?? Maybe the smile was faked. I haven't reach the best part yet.. Indonesian weddings have a culture to let their guests stand while eating! I mean, seriously, I thought we're supposed to be the 'honourable guests'..but apparently not. Its kind of a repulsive idea to eat while standing, what more with the heavy cutleries to hold and those fancy purses ladies carry...Two hands really can't multitask! And it was humorous to see people juggling things with their hands! Hahaha! What a weird culture..Its so not a cocktail party, indonesians..please get that.

In a few days time, I'll be heading to one of the most ancient civilisations, Mesir Purba!! I really do hope I could get some kick from learning the ancient histories. It would be so awesome to visit pharoahs tombs and cruise down the Nile River. What an experience it would be! Oh, and to spice things up, my dearest cousin studying there will be joining! Amazing...and..we'll get to meet her boyfriend!! Super brilliant! Really waiting with full of anticipation!!

NST WORKSHOP DAY 1

2009-11-14T20:10:00.000-08:00

Exactly today last week, I attended the NST Creative Workshop sponsored by Sime Darby. I pretty much expected a talk on journalism..well, thats what teacher told us. It turned out to be a big surprise as a matter of fact. We had to build a TOWN. Ok, first impression...what???? Then, darn it! Lets pull this crap off. Speaking of which, I'm going to have to deal with Arts and Craft, which I thought was a subject that was not to be mentioned again after PMR. Best of all, none of our group members are artistic.

As things got into motion, I started thinking, hey, I think we can actually DO arts :) and then everything went super fantastic onwards. Its easy-peasy actually when you're given 'trash' and you have a bunch of friends who talk crap which turns it into a creative masterpiece. Its all a balderdash of an idea, but who cares? Creativity is subjective :)

My group after we clinched 2nd overall

This team got first

This looks more like a Dumpster

Pretty nondescript, I don't know why...

Honestly horrifying!

Ours :)
No regrets for using up all my energy to produce something as cool as this. No prejudice, but I still think ours is the best :)

I hate u

2009-11-11T05:50:00.000-08:00

Dhanya, I'm so NOT going to blog about JOHN A LIAR..Its utterly insane, and yeah since you bailed on ME!!! Ain't gonna say any of the darnedest things about him! and Aiman bailing..thats bblah.. already argued with him, so no point :)

Thought of posting about NST Creative Workshop last Sunday. Made a couple of friends. Made a town out of jumping clay and scraps...Who would have thought jumping clay existed?

Going to the emo side.. This appears to be insane. I'm hooked on the Twillight Saga. This is so wrong... Currently with Breaking Dawn, still screaming now and then, sounding like a lunatic. Probably I'm mentally shut down after some surprisingly unexpected news.
Aftermath: Empty. Desolated. Blank. Confused.

I don't like being how currently I am. It sucks to the core, having to think of all possible ways to untangle myself from this shitload. Damn that person! God..its hard to be the same again. And thanks to Twilight, that just adds to my insanity. Crap.

Bloody hell....my girls are dumping me in school tomorrow. They're ditching for some movie-marathon Aiman the Bailer proposed. So hell with it, I have to endure tomorrow in bitter loneliness, drowning myself in Breaking Dawn and probably crack up one or two nerves. Why am I not joining them?

There's Breaking Dawn to read.

Physics 2 is due tomorrow.

Shit...

I hate writing more, in case I start breaking down. So, to hell with it (again) sayonara.

I'm blogging..

2009-11-05T21:58:00.000-08:00

Its 5.35 am, 2 more minutes to the azan subuh. I simply flopped on the bed to cherish this 2 precious minutes, afraid that my body would give away due to the crazy routine I stuck to obediently. 6.oo am. Shoot. Wearied and frazzled always, I found myself in the morning after a self-disciplined study session in the wee hours of the morning. Its insane, I know and totally wrong to be sleep-deprived nights before the coming exams, but nevertheless...fear always manage to overwhelm me with vicious thoughts of failures and that was my motivation to study every 3.30 in the morning. If that was possible. Now that it is finally over..the weariness begin to set in. Like I hadn't notice I had awful eyebags and this persistent headaches are starting to kill me.

As if things couldn't get a lot more worse, I'm not much relieved with the fact that it is over..its the prospect of receiving bad grade that I'm currently dreading. As a way to resolve this daunting experience, I'm collecting books from all over the house to stock up in my comfy room. Snuggled in the comforter, its almost theurapeutic to indulge in my favourite past time. Even the boring and monotonous New Moon manage to grab my fullest attention, leading me to keep on reading till 1 o'clock in the morning. It just worsens my headache.

And as life is just life, little problems starts surfacing, bugging me all day in search of a perfect alternative to avoid facing it. Not that I'm coward enough to face it, just that I think I had enough of troubles to last me a life time..

Speaking of which, I'm pacing up with baking as much as I could. Starting from buying the lovely assortments that would please me to baking the perfect cheesecake. Oh, and kulfi ice-cream. Still not over it.

Oh, and its so pathetic that I neglected my blog for almost 2 months. Insanity streak.

Luckily I'm due to fly to Jakarta for a wedding. There will be I suppose, an immense crowd of strangers, speaking well...the irksome accent and expecting us to speak in it too.

Severed relationship

2009-09-10T01:09:00.001-07:00

Its sort of dreadful to see screwed up relationships, especially among your friends. Well, the best part was, I played 'counsellor' for two days..I hope what I did was to make things better between them, not ruining anything further.
I have this notion in mind that during Ramadhan, everyone would be plaintive and super-duper sombre..Apparently I was wrong.. In fact most of us are boisterous and completely loud. Plus with me being an absolute cow spreading real gossips of kaif...couldn't things be any worse?
The mood in school was uplifting as *muahahaha* we had 4 solid periods of freedom. Actually I planned to revise some stuffs but ended up chattering away like no one's business. Hence, the weariness now..

Aiman, you're obnoxious. and vain. oh no, excruciatingly vain.

Reunion

2009-09-07T07:49:00.001-07:00

I would love to have a reunion between friends from elementary school. It would be amazing to meet them after years apart. Contacted an old friend today. Amier Idris. A psycho perverted kid I used to know, not to mention hot-headed too. Well, supposed he changed. Still looking out for a reunion!

TGIF

2009-09-07T07:09:00.000-07:00

A dinner with friends was the least I thought during Ramadhan, but thanks to Aiman we had a convivial dinner at TGIF. Packed with customers, with blaring music, the ambience didn't do much to lift up my mood..Since its Ramadhan, I pledged not to listen to any music...but there goes it..

The food was feasible, yeah, though at the end Peh had to finish up for me. He's the garbage of the day! Then...the crapping started and lasted for God knows how long.

Since I idiotically forgot to charge my battery, I had to pilfer some pictures from people's blog..hahaha..

You know, somehow I think Aiman wanted a picture with Adilah but used me as an excuse...hmm..

Treats that are on the house..Bless you generous Aiman

'Hat of the day' Everyone was stupefied with the tall hat...

Madagascar ROAR!!(homage to Aiman)

Patiently waiting before iftar

Workaholics and students-stressed much?

2009-08-16T01:40:00.000-07:00

Ever imagined what is life as a teenager? Workaholics think it isn't that hectic as theirs, while the teenagers say, think again. So how does this universe work anyway? Both sides mutually agree that their days are full of complications and is perpetually boring with everydays routine. Every morning you wake up hearing the pitter-patter raindrops that fall from your roof, which aggravates you up to some point where you burst in fury. Well, thats morning, for a headstart.. It could be a lot more worse if you hear babies across the street wail in anger to suckle their mums milk. Then it comes down to work or school, whichever. In school, you have to endure the humdrums of teachers lesson or sometimes a slightly interesting class accompanied with the teachers theatrics to make the ever-so-dull class alive. On the other hand, work. You get going with whatever you had been doing for the past 10 years and no promotion seems to fly to your desk. Stress level elevates. Upon returning after 6 torturing hours of exercising the brain or, 10 hours of excruciating pain at work, we return to our home, only to find our personal stuff has been messed up, the kitchen upside down, living room untidy..just an inch before hells break loose. Oh, and for hoping that we could get a goodnights sleep? forget that. Tonnes of overdue and still piling, of works to get done with. And when we thought the holidays are a chance to breakaway...one of your family members decided to fall sick or your little brother obnoxiously choose not to leave his beloved pet. Isn't it stressful, indeed?
So, I guess the case is cleared. Both workaholics and students alike have their own type of bustling life that they go through everyday, every week, every month, every year... I have my organised routine everyday and it seems to drive me crazy now.

14th August

2009-08-15T05:23:00.000-07:00

woke up pretty late
checked for wrinkles and any sign of sagging skin. Spotless.
was kinda in a retchy mood. have no idea.
found a gift on my bed.
was in a hurry. so i ignored it.
couldn't contain the curiosity anymore so i took a peep.
said my thanks.
went to school.

I pretty much thought the morning would be myself in high spirits for the day ahead. Hah. it was so different compared to previous years. And i don't feel a day older. *wink*

Dakshan was first to see me.
Then the rest of his gang.
Dyla came up and joined.
Eli left me breathless when she gave a huge bear hug :)
Lover came at last. miss her so much.
and a few more wishes yadayada...
peky did not come

Wasn't really a cheerful day. I was quite plaintive so to speak, but Dyla bought me a ROCKY. love you :) basically it was a rather boring birthday, well until night slumbered in. We had a fantastic dinner at Ar-Rawsha. I just have penchant for middle eastern food...and the guys over there were so cute, JUST LIKE MY USTAZ, PEKY! The food was heaven.

So thats it, a pretty much simple 16th birthday. So, Happy Belated Birthday Amal :)

Oh, not forget to mention, Happy 21st Birthday Farna!!

9th August

2009-08-09T07:36:00.000-07:00

It wasn't exactly bad, nor was it extremely cool. Alas, what could we expect from a bunch of form4s? Still naive.. So here's the deal, some didn't run smoothly as planned, most of it were impetuous decisions. Well??? It turn out fairly pleasing to everyone I suppose..So far I 've only heard "kinda boring" and "awesome" from friends' friend. In a nutshell, we did have fun although the place was a teensy weensy crammy, the food was glorious, performances were mediocre, teachers were a party-ruiner, everyone was such a sport. Okay, I take that back, not everyone, most of them. There's 2 24/7 occupied tables where its residents wouldn't let go of the comfy house they built there, and they said what...???? boring?? Bunch of retarded losers. Delightful part was, the prefects were cooperative enough to comply to our theme 'masquerade'. Most of them were fabulous! Some, had peoples eyes and necks turn to get a glimpse of them (fatin...) Oh, and table 14 was superb with its motley crew of residents, all quirky and fun! Everyone looked resplendent and ravishing that day, practically nothing went haywired!

Now, I'll let the pictures do the talking :)

The conventional award goes to no other else than the Heads

Ghavi was ridiculously shy and photophobic!

I've finally relented since you people keep bugging me to post the supposedly 1000 of our pictures. Just this one only.

Poor Arjun paying his alms is it?

They think they're cool..are they? *wink*

Last shot together

Meet my dearest ketua zon

Singing their hearts out...

Girls never fail to be vain in front the camera!

What did I just say?

Before leaving Melia

My bestfriends-cum-organisers

The annoying Deepan my sister hates, but he's purely obnoxious, other than that, he's an amazing singer!

Froggy and Micey

2009-08-09T07:19:00.000-07:00

As what that has been told earlier, the entire block of students came bustling to the Bio lab to check out how cool nerds kids actually are. *wink!wink!* So we had a time of our lives dissecting live frogs and mice. The thought of touching the gooey and slimy skin of the frog makes me shudder, but go to hell! I did it!! It is an amazing achievement considering I'm particularly not the type of person who loves playing and messing around with animals and rodents. Despite contemplating the chances of myself screwing up my future for taking science stream, its a wonder that I still managed to enjoy myself dissecting them. Perhaps it was meant that I'm on the current stream. Well, who knows, it might be my forte one day..

Look at my little baby in a coma..

Oh, yes Peky! I'm super vicious :D

My baby spread wide open

Tinot, my partner in crime...

froggy!

It was sad to leave the Bio lab that day.. Oh, and pity the demise of the frogs and rats, as well as their carcasses in the bin..Hahaha...also to the lady who cleans it, man it emits a rancid smell...

I seriously can't wait for 9th of August

2009-08-04T00:34:00.000-07:00

The day we prefects dread most. 9th August. That would be this Sunday if counting the days slowly couldn't be any easier. Djoanna is a terrible manager and negotiator. We don't have a venue for now. Others are oblivious about that, despite seeing us, the organizers stressed out, running around school searching for unhelpful and uninterested teachers. Many of us are taken ill. Perhaps due to the sweltering weather and the fatigue of sweating and cursing whilst brainstorming for the upcoming 'party'. Our blood pressure sure has jettison off to nowhere. Dehydration has overcome most of our senses. Lessons in class is sure a blurr and a vague memory for most of us. What more could be worst when all you could recall is a string of notes and melodies played by the oh-so-talented-pack-of-musicians...wannabes so to speak.. I'm so sorry folks, music is just not one of my forte, and I don't appreciate singers who are on the verge of being a star..whatever most people say of her mellifluous voice, I'm not at all fascinated.

Eli, Dee, Ain, Tina you bunch of foul-mouthed backstabbing 'friends' who talk shit about me behind my back!!! hate you people.

*nah...just kidding :)

Disgusted

2009-08-03T02:16:00.000-07:00

Teachers could be racist too.

I thought we, the students are the only ones in school who segregrate ourselves into groups of each races, but apparently, I was wrong.

Never have I thought that a TEACHER ( emphasising on that dramatically) would be disgustingly racist over a silly mid-sentence statement.

Why would someone even judge another race disdainly? Just because of opposite believes and practices? Thats downright preposterous.

Shouldn't a teacher be fully equipped with knowledges on how each religion are taught to respect others despite different believes?

I'm deeply offended...

Faux pas??

2009-07-31T06:37:00.000-07:00

You know how funny it seems to think that you're on the right track in life and suddenly something hits you with a blow and then realise that it actually had been a blunder you've made? I can't help wondering why these quirky thought I'm having seem to take control of myself. I feel as if I'm suppose to do the opposite of what I'm doing now...but then again, people always say your parents knows best, BUT then again, you know your own interests and perhaps want to pursue it, BUT then again, you have your parents advice. So what comes next? A dilemma that could neither solve nor help you in any way. It all depends on you. Which comes back to me now. I really feel taking science stream is the biggest faux pas I made. What should I do?

Inefficient KFC workers

2009-07-24T05:36:00.000-07:00

It has been ages since I last went online. The horrible July test is over. At the last minutes before freedom my panic level rose high. I just realise I scribbled my answer at another piece of paper, then teacher began collecting the answer papers. I know its a total blunder and I lost an astounding 5 marks for mistakenly writing my answer on another paper. Shit. Then traditonally, everyone screamed like wild pigs the moment the school bell rang. It that was the moment I dreaded my life would be over. Seriously, I can't stop bringing up this subject countless times again. But, what's done is done. Can't help myself anymore to change things.

Things cheered me up later when a group of us headed to KFC for a luncheon. Practically Anis, Adilah and I walked under the sweltering weather while Dee and Ain were too lazy so they took a car there. No wonder you guys have big buttocks...hahaha... Eli,Emma, Tina and a few others joined the pack and we chattered all the way.

Here's a weird thing. Its somehow paradoxical that fast foods are served an hour late. Oh, I was jittery whilst waiting for my food. If I had a lawyer I would sue KFC in their face. It took us three times to attempt a persuasion to get our food fast. Oh, all hail to Eli and Emma for telling them off. You guys are such a dear :)

2009-07-17T02:45:00.000-07:00

Finally, my friend has fallen in LOVE

Long live ACAPIKI!!!!!!!! :)

Cookies and Muffins

2009-07-13T04:09:00.000-07:00

I was absolutely jubilant yesterday! First, I managed to join Level 5 at Diwan. Apparently my ustaz thinks that I am more advanced that the boring Level 1. Also, my new class is much more fun and exciting! You actually get to converse in Arabic. Super cool!! Then, Mama decided to be extra nice and brought me to the bakery shop to get all the stuffs I need to bake the cookies I have so longed for....Ooohh..its bloody nice! But was kinda tiring, 'cos I baked up till 1 am in the morning :)

The prefects party is a total disaster. I have nothing to say more about it.

CUMIN SEEDS-love and fidelity?

2009-07-07T01:25:00.000-07:00

I have to admit, today was the best day I've ever had in this year's school history. Apart from the silent treatment with LOVER, today proved to be most dramatic. So, there's a huge gang fight between some Form5s and Form3s..rumours had it that it was bloody. Shit, I missed it! Police officers came, apparently the fight didn't subside even when teachers intervened. Its so Melawati's nature. Rebellious. Then, there was another commotion at my block. As usual, busy-bodies like us rush out to check out what's going on. Nothing too interesting. Anyway, it was worth, watching the whole commotion unravel before you. Somehow satisfying. With people screaming about, some thought there was a spot-check. So my friends did some really ridiculous stuff to hide their phones, like pasting it behind the cloth of the notice board, even quirky, Aiz hid it in an empty packet drink. I must say, thats smart! But in the end, what was there to fuss? There wasn't any spot-check whatsoever, and it was so humorous to see the comical looks of 'relief' on their faces! Hahaha!!
To sum up my day in school, during EST, Aiman and Ghavi did a presentation on cumin seeds. Benefits of cumin seeds:

digestion (boring)
lactation (yawning)
worms/bacteria (rubbing my eyes)
insomnia (splashed water on the face)
anaemia (a quick nap)
hairs and toes??? (woke up looking blurr)
cancer (wait a minute, its still going on???)
love and fidelity

whaatt?? uhh...thats pretty interesting. Can't really remember what Aiman said, but it has got something to do with love and fidelity :) Soon almost everyone was throwing the cumin seeds to those 'couples' as a sign of blessing. Most of mine went to Kaif, for his love and devotion towards Anisss... For once, he didn't scowl or anything. He's beginning to accept things with a huge grin on the face! At last, KAIF and ANIS. Oh, I had some reserved for Aiman and Dyla..they're still 'the couple' but the story is kind of stale, don't you think? The news buzzing around now is kaif and anis, thanks to ME.

Fyi, their love blossomed ever since the incident in Chemistry :) the lab is truly full of wonderful memories...

Boring

2009-07-04T07:56:00.000-07:00

Its almost tiring having to cram all the homeworks in 2 days. Alas, the upcoming July test is just days ahead. Have to be fully prepared this time, anticipating the worst of questions teachers would put forth. But then again, life can't be too serious, can't it? So, I'm planning to bake something next week, something I have been longing for all this while. Then perhaps, follow Mom and Dad to Bandung??

I have crush on a drop dead gorgeous debater

2009-07-01T01:23:00.000-07:00

I miss school for 3 whole days, and now I'm feeling bad for skipping classes. Must have missed important stuffs. So, I went for the State Level Debate Championship at Hulu Klang. Well, since our school won in the district level, we were put in charge to time-keep for the state level. Practically all debaters went (mind you, we took 3 cars) There were Persada crews too to video shoot the debate. The school where the debates we held at was old, not like Melawati. But it has a fresh green field, I'm sure any footballers would love to play at, and the washrooms are actually big, spacious and clean. I was blown! wasn't even stinky. Too bad the canteen spoilt their whole 'good image'. I mean there aren't any good food sold there.Everyone was starving on the first day. Thank goodness rice packets were given out to all AJKs and trust me, it can never surpass home-cooked food.
The students were friendly...at least they didn't gawk at us like we're some kind of new species. Met people from 10 other districts. Some looked snobbish, nerds and yes of course there was this hot guy :) Seriously good looking, I'm not lying. I think he is of mixed parentage, maybe eurasian? Looks like. Oh, and he's charming when he speaks. Absolutely my dream guy. Too bad my tongue chose to betray me the very moment I got the opportunity to speak to him, be friends. Well, technically because Alyssa, Racheal, Dhanya and those 2 boys were taunting and daring me to ask for his number. That was an extremely embarassing moment. I forgot to bring my camera and thus, did not take any pictures of the occasion.....and him. I hope Aiman did, he promised.
Finals was between Klang district (where the hot guy is from) and Hulu Langat district ( there's a guy who looks like Dakshan but apparently Racheal said he looks snobbish. I think he was kind of good looking) It was a good battle. Both districts were equally awesome although Hulu Langat came out hard and harsh making Klang seem to be weak (they weren't!) In all, the best speaker came from Klang but Hulu Langat grabbed the trophy. All of them are excellent speakers, seriously...I was very impressed. The one thing I liked most about Hulu Langat was, they were so dramatic and they indeed had style. Klang was laid back, cool, maybe a wee little bit too polite that Hulu Langat manage to overthrow them. I still think Klang's points were better (no prejudice)
All in all, I enjoyed myself for that 2 whole days :) oh, of course, that guy makes everything perfect!

AIMAN PLEASE UPLOAD THE PICTURES, ESPECIALLY IZZAT'S!

Did Optimus Prime die?

2009-06-26T01:33:00.000-07:00

She hasn't any whatsoever idea I suppose that her English command is extremely terrible. I wonder how did she end up being an English teacher? In case any of you who are still scratching your head wondering who this teacher is, imagine freakishly expressive and urm...well, tall and slender. Depressed is the only word that could describe my feelings when I received my marks for English paper. It adds on to my temperament...Be patient Amal.

Well, I did not fail in my exams, neither did I ace in it. Total score was way lower than March test. Even more depressing. What a disgrace! Need to work my butts off for July. Another countdown.. Oh, no!
The blazing heat only adds to my irritable mood, what more my house is partially 'naked' because of what that terrifying storm did a few days ago. I shall not repeat that incident that was full of drama and laughter. hahaha...it certainly was hilarious if you see me in action.

Bloody hell I'd have to wait for Baba to get back from Singapore to watch Transformers 2. Ain't that nice without him. Uhhh...the popcorns!! Seriously craving for those!! Oh, and I just open a facebook account because I was too bored and now I'm clueless on how to use it. Help anyone? I'm really stupid in these stuffs...

King of Pop Dead?

2009-06-26T00:57:00.000-07:00

So...he's dead. The news that has been gripping the nation for the whole day. Ilaina was practically looking solemn when she pronounced it, "Did you know Michael Jackson is dead?" It really does sound like a joke don't you think? King of Pop dead? Wow...thats a lot to take in. But well, so what? Everyone dies. But his music sure doesn't. I mean who can ever forget MJ? So how'd he died? Cardiac arrest in L.A and was dead by the time they reach the hospital. So that was it.. Well there will be a lot of mourning..but besides that..nothing more. Sayonara MJ, though we'll miss you..and the controversies.

The name's Adam Izz

2009-06-16T01:34:00.000-07:00

Isn't her adorably, charmingly cute? I seriously miss that smile of his! Ghastly holidays of mine have turned sunny three days before school reopens! The feeling of happiness is almost indescribable! Oh, and he's beyond cute!!!!!

2009-06-06T07:49:00.000-07:00

I think I just wrecked my chance to complete the BM assignment this whole week. Have been delaying it till today when I've decided to start on it, my lovely cousin came online and started chatting away. Shit the work. I wonder why is it so gruelling. Beats me.

2009-06-01T05:31:00.000-07:00

Mid- term holidays isn't the best season so far. Its sort of hectic, suffocating and temperamental. Ok, so I'm still shouldering homeworks, encaved in this tiny chamber called 'bedroom' and yeah, the weather is on and off. Too bad we experience what I'd like to call 'equatorial climate' or simpler, equinox. Its either rainy or sunny. Having the preferences, I opt for sunny but what is given to nowadays? Unpredictable weather. I'm irked by bthis very fact simply because I need to workout! Its so frustrating to keep myself waiting until evening only to find out hours earlier that I would be let down. Seriously, I mean what is going on up there? A rift between clouds?? Temperamental enigma. I'm so not enjoying this holidays. Wish school would start soon. OK, I'm nuts.

Ladybirds

2009-05-29T07:09:00.000-07:00

I guess its the post exam lethargic-ness that I spent hours before starting to blog. Thought there would be ideas streaming out, but unfortunately, predictably no. So where shall I start? With the common thing people has been buzzing about? Exams, American Idol? Thats just so boring and it would seem to be like a cliched topic. So guess what? Hell yeah I'm writing something else! I sort of had this in mind for a few days, wanted to write out, because I had too much ideas at that time. Practically what's left is just little smithereens of it. Well, I'll just give it a go then.

You know ladybirds? Those red beetle with black polka dots on them? I remember loving those bugs once upon a time ago. Well, you see, it was a childhood thing my brothers and I share in common, as well as our 3 alliances! Fira, Syirin and Syasya. So, at my old house, just down the road from where I'm currently comfortable at, there is a bush growing in front of it. I wonder why Mama didn't rip the whole thing off..It kind of attracted mosquitoes..Okay, leave that. So at this bush is where those ladybirds breed.. Is that a right word? Cos I tell you, we collected thousands of ladybirds there! That ranges from red to yellow colours. There were a selections of unusual coloured bugs where we could carefully keep them as our 'prize'. So whats so special about these ladybirds? Nothing. They are just threads that links me back to my childhood. Seriously, who would have thought a city kid like me had much as fun as a kampong kid? But I seriously did! Well that was what? 11 years ago? It was the time where we psychophatic kids did dangerous stuffs, so audacious that it didn't matter if we hurt ourselves!

I remember Asyraf being meddlesome and inovative at the same time. He once used an old blanket at our nanny's house, made a parachute out of it and jump off a flight of stairs, easily 20 steps up. I wonder how he managed to pull it off without hurting himself. Kids.. Oh, and As'ad, he's like the dumb one. Riding the bicycle straight into the coconut tree and whamp! There goes one of the tyres..

What about me? I really couldn't remember..well except meddling with those 'anai-anai' at my nanny's with my heart and soul partner, Syasya. ouh! Do you know colouring your nails with colour pencils was a taboo back then? I got a wallop from my Mama for doing that. Hahaha...it was orange colour we used, just fyi.

Another thing. You that Ferderal Bureau Investigations a.k.a FBI? Well my brothers and I established another 'team' and we named it SDI. God knows what it stood for at that time, but it was hell of a fun!! We use those small calendars you know? The ones you keep in your wallet, as an access identity to enter our room. HOW COOL IS THAT? And we had missions at night..Man all the stupid, crapstick stuffs we did as siblings...we do love each other a lot at that time! Oh, and I got promoted! Asyraf is obviously the head. I'm like second to him and As'ad was the lowest. Hahaha...he had to take orders from me like, danggggg! I'm your boss!! okay, I've gone too far. So, ladybirds, I still love them although I never sort of 'remember' that I love them but who cares? I love them. They were my past. A past I would never forget!

Till then, ladybirds.

......................................................

2009-05-12T01:08:00.000-07:00

I'm sort of irate and cantankerous for this past few days, practically because I have an abundant of work to do. In order to 'dutifully' complete it I had to fight the straining eyes as early as I could in the wee hours of morning. And as if the weather could read my labyrinth of thoughts, they spitefully wreck my 'fresh morning' mood, emitting blazing heat no one could ever withstand. The sun has been scorching the heat down my neck much to my dismay. How unthankful I am, when it was rainy and gloomy, I requested for the sun's shine, but now... With thoughts on the exam lurking around, I still can't find myself to sit at the desk and focus on something. Humans are really an enigma at times. Though feeling contrite, I can't help but blame myself. Moving on, I might be taking a placement test at Al-Diwan, partly because I no longer want to defer it to another date. The earlier the better, albeit being anxious on whether I could cope altogether at once with the exams around the corner. Much apprehension is suppressed through smiles and laughter, thats what people don't see. Keeping everything to myself, not wanting to trouble others, who, I guess are bearing the same insurmountable load I do. Thats just fair isn't it? Speaking of justice, I simply couldn't comprehend the fact that my class is constantly inflicted with bad luck. Lets see, tables upside down, whole class a mess with rubbish scattered around, boards ripped off, and worst, KND. Sh just can't get over the idea of 4 Kreatif a smart class but full of hoodlums which are needed to be exiled somewhere. And those harangues from her. I can't think of a person who could even stand her. I think I better get back to my books. They're already impatient on the table, calling. Such figment I have nowadays...

Mommy doodles

2009-05-08T23:34:00.001-07:00

You wake up tomorrow morning and find yourself engage with this garbage of thoughts thinking of what to get for her and you immediately scramble out of bed, rush to the toilet to get rid of that halitosis, then run up to her to give a warm good morning kiss then wish the typical happy mother's day wish. What would that be? Oh, Happy Mother's Day. That is commonly what people do nowadays. Give her a gift, a treat, or whatsoever as a token of love and appreciation of what she had given to us this past years. I somehow tend to recall what Tina said about everyday is Mother's Day, though it seemed unlikely to occur to us that EVERYDAY is Mother's Day. I mean you don't wake up EVERYDAY looking forward to wish her right? To me Mother's Day is just another insignificant celebration that we take into account as an important event in our lives. Why? Just because the world had set that every 10th May is Mother's Day, means we have to prepare something special for our mum. Technically, it is just a gimmick to me. Buying fancy stuffs, taking her out for an extravaganza dinner celebration. Being histrionic about how we love her for everything. It just seems too...fake for that matter. I mean try asking ourselves, do we actually tell that we love her because of all the things she'd sacrifice for us, or because its merely Mother's Day? Do you call out "love you mum" everyday before going to bed, or even before stepping out of the house? Do you? I know I do that every single day without fail. Then maybe I should ask myself, do I do it because it has turned into a routine or do I say it because I'm sincere and it comes from the deep core of my heart?

My mother, every mother in fact is the most wonderful lady in every person's life. She is a petite lady, with a warm, fuzzy smile that almost influences you at all times. You really can't stand breaking her heart when she throws you that pure and sincere smile. She is not a varsity graduate, neither is she a culinary chef, but she is extremely superb in Maths and cooks marvellously delectable dishes. You know, thats why I've been piling on weight eventhough I go for regular jogs. She's one of those jovial ladies who loves dancing to the music. Pity I didn't inherit that. I think the most wonderful thing about this lady is her memory. Even at the age of late forties, she could spectacularly remember Quranic verses by heart and quote certain phrases. Such gift, Allah has given her, a powerful memory retention.

I really should stop describing about this lady, because she is almost indescribable. Sometimes, I do wonder why had I taken her for granted? I would leave the chores for her to complete simply because I'm tired. I never once thought that maybe she too had her share of hard work the whole day and maybe she too needed rest. But it never occured to me, as I now realise how strong this lady is. My father's close friend once told me, " Your mother is a strong lady. She could endure most things given by God. Look at her and tell me if I'm wrong" I never looked at her the way he did until sometime later. It then strucked me that she, indeed was a strong-willed and determined women. Somehow, throughout the years of constant bickering with her, procrastinating my chores until she finally bursts out of rage, I didn't see, had a veil obliterated my sight to 'see' through her. So the day when my 'eyesight' was restored with the words of my father's friend, I could hardly believe myself, what I did all these years. Maybe thats why I constantly fail in life, kept tripping over stones, kept falling into hollowness and emptiness. For Allah had said in the Quran that His blessing depends on the parents blessing. If we please our parents, that means we please him. But most important is our mother. She is far more superior than our father, so has the hadith mentioned.

After all, maybe Mother's Day is not a gimmick, it may serve a reminder to those who has their sight veiled and fail to see the beautiful side of our mother. Forget the times when she rebuked you for failing in your exams, when she shouted at you for not cleaning your room, when she took you as a scapegoat because of her stress, when she bothered you during studying for a favour, when she mocked at you and sided your little brother. Forget all those times. It is not worth keeping when she is foremost, your mother. Didn't you forget the time she became your bestfriend? She took you in her arms and you just let out everything? Then she consoles you with healing words that alleviated your sombreness? You forgot that? Maybe the time when you needed a break out from the stress of studying and she took you out for a day of shopping? Maybe the time when you saw her panic look because she was so afraid of your ailments? Then she stood vigil all night to look after you? The one when she sought for all sorts of alternatives to make you feel better? You remember? Then what did we do to repay her? Did we make her shed tears? Did we break her heart? Did we abandon her when she needed support?

So, what I could say about this Mother's Day? Nothing. To me, I hadn't been a good daughter for some time. I neglected some of my chores. And what did Mum say? Nothing. Did she complain? No. Did she make a face? Nada. So what could I do now? Do I even have the right to say I love you when I break her heart more than claiming that? The very least is that Mother's Day has brought redemption, maybe. But its up to us right, on whether to make a difference from now onwards. So mummy's children out there, have you earn yourself the right to say Happy Mother's Day and tell her that you love her? Think about it :)

Debate

2009-04-23T03:05:00.000-07:00

It was an unbelievable experience for me, that is the last whole week. I skipped class, hey, didn't play truant, but instead went for a debate ride on the roller-coaster. Help Debate was an awesome experience for me. Gave me a total idea of what debate is all about. Although I had a few emotional rage in one match :) So it all started when Pn Fidzah texted me that I was selected for Help Debate. On the first thought I wanted to back out, afraid of what I will be going through, those earnest faces of the adjudicators, people watching, my opponents and lastly, my great nemesis, myself. I was afraid that my fears to speak in public will conquer me during the competition and we would end up losing. But I got a grip out of myself and told that hey, there is always a first try in everything right? Smiling to myself, I recalled telling that this first attempt of debate is going to be disastrous. And I swear it was!! The first round was rather easy. We managed to lasso the adjudicators, that is Dakshan, me and Sable. Got pretty good remarks from the adjudicators, albeit cursing slowly in my heart after my total crap speech. But our fight with Bukit Bintang Boys School wasn't a good one. They were double suckish. Hahaha.. the first speaker spoke like a girl that had gotten her windpipe stuffed with a plushie. He really sounded weird and was completely hilarious. Had we not controlled, I bet you we would have laughed our heads off by hearing him speak :) And so we won that match. wee~ Now here comes the catastrophic moment. The match with VICTORIA INSTITUITION. Funny huh, all guys, AGAIN. Haih...none of them were cute :( okay, they were totally fantastic!! Seriously, their first speaker Furqan Aree was tremendously good. Man, it was jaw-dropping to hear him speak. And how well was I?? Totally a bummer, so to speak. Seriously, by the time the second speaker spoke, i was already pinching myself, mad at for being a total dumb blonde. I made myself looked like an idiot out there, and the best thing was, we won. Hahaha...What a pleasant surprise huh? I guess Faris and Sable was the one who saved us all. I totally screwed up the whole thing...haih..embarassment. Aqil told too, that the boys sort of said that they should have won. Couldn't agree more.. But all in all, I love and enjoy debate. Really, spending time with those seniors was more than I could have ask for.

Today's Report

2009-04-09T05:20:00.000-07:00

Have I mentioned before that school could be like an empty cookie jar? You could be groping the base of it and find nothing but crumbs left. Isn't it just frustrating? So that would be what I usually go through on Thursdays. Complete freakintastic boredom. Ah, whatever! I got approximately an hour of sleep. So much for comfort having to rest my head on my table scattered with books and pencils. But then again, it was worth it. I guess I gotta explain why I went loony in school, well, sort of in a bad, bitchy way. I 'manicured' Dee's nails, scribble her hands (Tina was bad enough to avenge back on behalf of Dee) and spoke kind of in a rude manner. Sorry Ain! But I'm all stressed out due to my 'gastronomic' problem. You wouldn't want to know further, its just so complicated.. Even my parents got all tensed up because of my 'lil problem gone biggo haywired! Just leave about that. blah.

I felt so bad because I had to cancel the trip to a shop at Batu Caves due to the last minute decision to have a debate meeting which lasted for what? HALF AN HOUR?? I would have asked Anis and Asiah to stay back for a while and go to that shop. Grrr...Anyways, the competiton is due Tuesday. HELP debate that is. Really gotta perform well. Hoping not to screw up everything. I tend to do that when I'm nervous..Really, if you face a really awesome debater, it would make your blood curdle...ok, I'm scaring the heck out of myself..But as what Faris said, he screwed up several times. But that only got him where he is today, another fantastic debater. Thanks 5ft Poet :)

Another thing I have to announce to the whole world. I Amal Rosli officially hates DERWINN whatsoever his full name is, like I give a damn shit. This bugger really gets onto my nerves. To bad he broke one. I wish, I wish I could strangle him and then bludgeon him with a club! And he would be dead. THE WORLD WOULD BE A WHOLESOME PLACE WITHOUT HIM. Agree? I know many do. Oh, before I forget, did I ever mention that he has dandruffs?? So...unhygienic..Gross..and he talks with his saliva spitting out. Double gross. And he has a girlfriend. Last time I saw the picture, she was as horrible as him. Duh...what do you expect from his girlfriend? Someone fab like Vanessa Hudgens? I guess they look like two ghastly monsters from the underworld. How perfect!!

Enough of that ****ing Derwinn, I'm anxious to watch American Idol. Heard from Adilah that Lambert was awesome.. Now SHE does really know how to fill me with anxiety. Till then, hope I'll be back with more stories of stupid Derwinn.

p/s : His voice is annoying at ALL times. And he makes so-not-hilarious jokes. As if people pays attention to anything he says. What is he like? 'melukut di tepi gantang' I don't even bother about his presence. Hate him!!

2009-04-08T01:18:00.000-07:00

It feels extremely awful when you don't have anyone backing you up! I'm a failure. My life is dreary. I think I have no life. Even blogging gets annoying at times but yet I still do it. Sick. Anyways, the oh-so-exciting trip has been postponed. Shit. Really looked forward to that. Don't mind missing school, as long as I get to free this 'lil mess in me. Chao.

Finally in touch

2009-04-03T01:33:00.000-07:00

Exams raiding my entire carefree life?? How is that even possible? Anyways, it was a tragic event that ever happened in 15 years of life..Can't bother to explain so I might just get on with my total crap which wrecks the whole idea of my blogging purpose. I'm feeling downright blue. Though I've just encountered Mr Freedom at 12.30pm, something is ain't right. Someone magnificently kind please tell me what's going around my globe?? And darn my eyebags!! Haven't been getting adequate sleep for this whole week. I've finally met my nemesis in health, sleep deprivation! My biological clock drops dead at 1 and rings at 5. How luxurious my life is. The only thing that I've been luxuriating in is books. Tonnes of studying material. I think I might have to start again soon. The earlier the better. And the better chance for me to fall sick.. Gosh, our days are numbered and I'm cutting it short. Where's the logic? Gotta catch Shopaholic soon! Can't get the trailer off my mind with the glitz and glam of her raiments..Isn't it amazing to indulge in something blissful like shopping? How I wish I'm Becky..Then I could study effortlessly knowing that I can compensate the hours of reading with shopping. And my dream is about to materialise as I'm gonna revamp my wardrobe soon.. Just need a couple of trips to Singapore and there you go, retail therapy! But when the trip is on, lies in Mama's hand. Please make it as quick as you can!!
My eyes are dreary again. I can't stand staring at the computer for long. My power will increase and the quality of my life will deteriorate. Before that happens, let me zoom downstairs to get a couple of sinful scoops of macademia ice-cream! Adious..

p/s: I love Lambert, Gokey and Allen :) They are my saviour for this torturous week!

I have a big mouth, really

2009-03-14T07:43:00.000-07:00

You know how predictable life is right? So having all those twittering problems in life is not something too much of an ado. But sometimes I feel its almost impossible to rectify the problem. Problems come popping out every second like mushrooms! hhaha, just remembered a Malay saying, "seperti cendawan tumbuh selepas hujan" That's just reality. Back to how am I going to rectify the problems? Jump of a cliff would do. Or maybe less gruesome, bang my head on the table. Anything deliberate would do. hah. Sometimes I feel life is bored without these aggravating problems present in life, but when its spoonfed, it feels horrible in and out. How unthankful I am. Again, thats how people are, reality. I normally act impetuously when I face one and will regret it later. Reality. Then the next thing would be how to relieve myself from the compunction? See? Didn't I tell you problems are like mushrooms? One is done and another comes in your way. Hah..reality. Seems like there's no use dealing with all the trouble having to rectify the problem when it actually perpetual. So now instead of making a huge fuss over it, I would just blabber the thing out to my friends not worried about the consequences I would face later. Thats just me, being all reckless and instead of tangled in one problem, I'll be in a wool of problems. But who cares? Life's too short to notice all the insignificant things in life. I mean even mundane things could turn out to be one. I'll summarise that, life is complicated. Like for instance, I've been craving for fish and chips with tartar sauce, but all I get is fish and chips with lobster sauce! Its insatiable you know..I'm still thinking of the tartar sauce. I mean people would think whats the freaking difference between the sauces?Its still fish and chips all the same. But then again, life is complicated. And I still want fish and chips with tartar sauce!! I'll have to pester my mum to take me to KLCC someday.. I don't know why, but I feel the sudden urge to eat there. Or if in desperate measures, I'll just resort to cooking it on my own. How pathetic is that? I'll have to undergo at least 15 minutes on preparing it. By that time I would already sprawled on the kitchen floor, dead. This talk about fish and chips is getting me into a frenzy!!! I should stop. Wait, I suddenly feel a pang of hunger. No wonder I'm piling on the fats.. Okay, what next? I know. I have this little problem with myself. Its like a mental problem, cretin I think. Hahaha! I don't have thyroid problem! No, its just that I would feel so dreadful and lugubrious but I keep smiling and pretend to be happy. How's that? Anyone feel free to leave a recommendation on how am I to cope that. Its sickening. People would sometimes think I'm happy 24/7 but deep inside it like a torment in hell. Gosh..I suppose it is a mental problem. Hmm...Amal with mental problem. Sounds awesome right? Ok, I really need a therapist now. Hahaha.. Do you like people who takes things for granted??? I hate them. For real. If only we could have a debate about "Should people who take things for granted be exiled from the society?" Would I support that stand vehemently!! Hehe.. There's a story behind that statement for the record. :) I would want to curse the person..but not for the public to know :) Still...I'm stopping myself from typing it out. My hatred towards it is huge..real huge. But you know what? I have friends to compensate that. Thats the best thing. You lose one, but you gain a million. So no difference right? Hahaha..like the cooling process of naphthalene where its temperature stays constant because of...haih its too boring to elaborate.. I'm supposed to watch superman returns now, but I'm suddenly stuck with the computer here, blogging and chatting with Izzat. Seriously, he's disgusting! He digs his nose and later licks the keyboard. How gross is that?? Hahaha..kidding.. I miss him and the rest who went off to boarding school. Now Syazwan is going too. I don't want 4 Kreatif to lose its vibe! Thank God Hanif is still here. I'm beginning to appreciate friends more :) Oh, I need to get Memoirs Of A Geisha a.s.a.p!! I wonder if Tiqa has it..Her collection of books is beyond wonder! I love her writing too, Aiman :) and...I need a breakout before I get into exam mode. Funnily, I'm not nervous. Perhaps I know everyone would fail like me. hehehe..thats so evil of me having all those vicious and spiteful thoughts! Sorry guys..I'm not downgrading anyone. Just me and my mental problem :) I think I'll just quit for now, Brandon Routh is running short. I used to go crazy over him in form1. Dee, if you still remember. I'll gallop downstairs now. Adios.

Time Out

2009-03-12T23:10:00.000-07:00

Bliss..to be able to sleep in for one whole week is heaven! Well, don't get me wrong, I'm an early bird, its just that I like the idea of spending time in my cosy room or in front the computer writing my heart out. I'm thinking of producing a story, then publish a book (I have high hopes) or perhaps just a tale to post in persada :) Anyways, I could sense that somehow this holiday would bring me great joy. Why? Well...you see, we have this Sivik project to accomplish as soon as possible (don't want it to interfere with our revisions as March test is around the corner) So, its either a charity work, folio or report. We picked charity work of course! And chose the zoo to be exact. My guess is we have to clean shits or who knows, FEED THE ANIMALS..?? You may think it sounds pretty disgusting..but who cares? I'm sure its worth the fun and sweat! Hahaha... Oh, and...I'm thinking of having a study group (more of like lets chill out together and gossip till the end!) haha..and maybe bake some cookies..?? Ilaina, I miss you :D And also I want to go on an outing with my lovely bunch of loud friends!! I love them...:) I'm dying to watch Talentime!
Ok, besides my optimistic prediction of the school holidays, life is great. I love school, the teachers, my friends, the late nights of gossiping with Alya plus sneaking some carbs!! Another awesome thing is, I'm back in touch with my cousins!! Yay! I miss them too..The trip to Singapore was too short that I couldn't really have a time off with them. Still remember, we spent almost EVERYDAY going out for a movie or maybe just window shopping :)
That reminds me of Farna. You know she's studying in Egypt and I just somehow feel Egypt is my calling! She met several cute hunks there and that had most certainly made me too eager to go! But Mama doesn't quite consent that..Don't know why..but I told her earlier so just she knows...hehehe..Egypt shall see Amal in just a couple more years!! XD

After So Long..

2009-03-11T00:59:00.000-07:00

I actually abandoned my blog for quite some time. Too much workload I guess.. Even so, I thought that after a (how long didn't I blog??) of neglecting my blog, I would be able to come out with new and refreshing ideas to post about. Apparently, I was wrong. So, school couldn't get any bettter. Full of live and vibrant with laughters, but then again homeworks always spoil our uplifted mood. What to do..thats just life. Face the reality, Amal. But as life take drastic turns, something always comes by and brings a change to our lives. For instance, I nearly gave up on Physics. Seriously not kidding here. Then, today Intan Salina turned up and became the saviour of my impending doomed Physics. Alhamdulillah, Allah listens to my supplications:) Chemistry and Biology are doing good. I'm hoping I could fulfill my one and only resolution for March, that is to ace in all 12 subjects. I think I took 12..

Anyways, tomorrow is the day 18 year old school leavers would have butterflies in the stomach, feel nauseated ( just don't puke in public!), start biting their fingernails as SPM results will be out!! Goodluck Aba'ad :D

Wishing all 2008 SPM candidates BEST OF LUCK!!

I think I'm having butterflies in my stomach too. I just hope Aba'ad does exceedingly good and then we could paint the town red tomorrow night!! Too bad I won't be in school to watch him come out from the hall beaming with the results slip.. Going to watch semi finals for debate. (Yay!)

Oh, oh, I almost forgot. I finally manage to meet my ever so cute nephew last Saturday!! He's most adorable when he screws up his face to cry..Hahaha..We are really strangers to him, but who cares? He's cuddly :)

2009-02-28T02:22:00.000-08:00

Emptiness

I'm so full of words and expression but somehow I can't relate it for that matter. So I'll just stash the little 'stories' that illogically toy my feelings for now. I'm waiting for the day I could write out my heart. Till then, no updates except the typical school on-goings which I'm currently sick of. I'll puke if I start writing about it. So I think I'll just nosh now. Getting famished by the second. Gotta get going. Toodles!

2009-02-20T19:40:00.000-08:00

I need air

I think I'm suffocating all week! There had been like a mountain of to-do-list and I could hardly breathe! Gasp! Amal, breathe, inhale slowly... I still couldn't grasp the fact that form 4 is supposed to be a relaxing year. How does people brains work anyway? Loony.. Time to update my going-ons. I broke my spectacles, I went blind for one and a half day and people kept asking whether I'm wearing contacts. seriously its pretty annoying to repeat the word, "no" yet keeping a fake smile on my face. Oh, I managed to join Persada under English department. *hurray!* Oh, and I spent hours working and surfing the net for materials to be used for debate last night. Why did I join anyway? Thank god I didn't miss any important lesson..Fuh! And I think I could hardly get a wink at night. Its surprising that I could actually endure the next 24 hours without sleeping! Superwoman, thats what I call. Hahaha...Need to study now. Ta.

2009-02-13T23:52:00.000-08:00

Frolicking on Valentine's Day

I’m exuberantly happy today. Not because its Valentine’s Day, its simply an ordinary day just like other days as well. Firstly its because of the lesson-free period we had for the whole day! I was dissappointed at first mainly because my ultimate purpose for going to school was to study Biology and do my BM oral. But luck didn’t side us, as there was this talk about the Palestinians at the hall and I suppose all teachers were involved.
The day started off with the whole lot (sarcasm) of 4 kreatif heading towards the lab, thinking of the experiment we did yesterday. It was a huge success for my group! I was happy for that too. Anyway, it turned out that our teacher was involved in some form3 PMR business.. She apologised profusely. It didn’t really matter as we had Physics homework to complete. I guess we had some fun too. Adilah and I even managed to swap themes in our phone. How cool is that? Prefects’ breaking the rules under the noses of the teachers! Later we had to return to our class. I thought of the upcoming period of ‘lisan’ and really did look forward to that. How maddening is that Puan Azwana didn’t even enter our class. Thank goodness we bumped into her on our way to the period-of-total-boredom at the hall. I surely did an absolute great job of persuading Puan Azwana to make our oral easier! Life’s getting better nowadays… Immediately after that we went straight to 4Sejahtera. Hanged out with a couple of friends and then went for recess. Surprisingly, Adilah and I ate ice-cream!! How unusual..Normally we would opt for sweets. Ahh...how I adore sweets! I'm truly a child at heart! Hahaha! :p
Then the best part of all came.. When we retuned to class, Ustaz was already in (typical..) not teaching, like how I predicted. I ended up chattering like mad with Asiah and Liyana. Ustazah Ros came and discussed with us about the most qualified and suitable Head Boy for next year. Apparently no one fits, yet.. Girls are more competent. Big surprise is, we told Kaif to apply as a prefect and he agreed wholesomely! Not totally, because being a thrifty person, he actually considered buying new uniform a waste of money, seeing that he’ll be using it for only 1 and a half years..haih..thats so Kaif..I gave him this long-winded bitchy(I think) lecture. Really, I’m getting fond of Kaif. We also told him that we’ll promote him to be the Head Boy if he becomes a prefect! Hahaha… Hey, I have complete faith in him.
Oh, and I fulfilled my 2009 Resolution! To talk to people I’ve not spoken to in my entire life. Hahaha! I talked to Muhammad for a while and told him about the whole purpose of telling something something to Adam. He was actually touched. Hehehe… He seems nice enough though.. Hah, I was gleeful after that, with some sense of accomplishment!
And I also had this long chat with Aisyah or Sya as that’s what she wants me to call her.. Anyway, I did enjoy the whole session of self-praising, boasting, gossiping (with Ustaz too) and listening to this somewhat ‘sinetron’ of Sya’s. Isn’t life beautiful? Oh shit! I also managed to discover something atrocious somebody did. Seriously, that person is so a piece of dead meat. Ergh…
The day ended as how its supposed to. I truly had a blast in school eventhough I didn’t go for the debate thingy. Forgot about it after all.. Really did want to see Chua and Muhammad debate. What a waste. But hey, I did had a time of my life right? But, ehem..someone ruin a part of it.. but whatever la….

By the way, I'm intrigued or more precise, confused with how people tend to react under certain circumstances. You don't get mad or pissed at people for no good or relevant or appropriate reason right? And more to that, if a friend does that don't you think its silly? Especially if its a good friend. Isn't he/she supposed to understand you or what more, respect you for your decisions no matter how ridiculous and outrageous it sounds? Shouldn't your friend understand that sometimes you act for certain reasons that you can't explain because you might actually expose something shameful? And why do people often get the idea that when someone does something for you that means you have to do the same in return? I find it a complete preposterous mindset. So that someone out there, get a life please. Don't you think by taking the action you have already took is daft? You made your own conclusion without having to hear to what I would say eventhough I didn't answer your question I was actually listening to! By the way, don't you know that you don't have to look at a person to indicate that you're listening. You use ears and I have ears, moron. And don't you make stupid assumptions like "oh, you don't want to be my friend is it?" and mean it at the same time. You and your stupid notions, your erratic cantankerous behaviour! I won't tolerate it anymore mind you. Think the next time when you're about to pick a fight with me, you nincompoop! Honestly, you're reprehensible for this whole damn situation. So much for "if you're staying, I will". Dunce.

p/s: Ignore the last paragraph, and you'll find that I'm actually elated for
every little bit that happened today:)

Life is full of gifts and surprises

Embrace life when it is still enjoyable

Appreciate life when it is miserable

For joy comes together with misery

Therefore learn to accept it as a whole package

Learn to see life as something beautiful given

-amal rosli is ever-appreciating the roller-coasters in life-

p/s/s: To that someone out there. You know I don't mean the words right?

It is just that I'm freaking pissed at your rash and immature actions.

I hate this stupid situation. Please stop and be understanding if

you happen to read this. Sorry.

2009-02-11T23:25:00.000-08:00

Deep inside my heart

Why do sometimes you feel like you're the only being in this cold, unfriendly and shriveled place? Sometimes you're with a group of friends, but you feel as if you're lost and out of place. Sometimes you feel that the world is a big tournament, a race, and your friends are ahead of you while you're lagging behind. Sometimes you feel like everyone has reached the top of Everest but you're still struggling behind. Sometimes you feel everyone manage to withstand the scorching desert of Sahara while you're left alone to face the adversities lying there waiting for its prey. Sometimes you feel everyone dance sinuously, while you're stumbling at every step. Sometimes you feel people are coherent and clear while you're stuttering and stammering. Sometimes you feel that everyone is a beautiful art, while you're an ugly portrait. Sometimes you feel like everyone is victorious, while you're a mere failure. Why do I have that feeling of insecurity? Why do I feel that I'm the naive girl around? Why do I feel that I'm the new girl in town? Why isn't my heart with me where it is supposed to be? Why do I feel empty and hollow? Why do I feel that I want to shut myself from this world? Why do I feel that I'm no longer needed by anyone? Why do I feel unwanted? Why do I feel people are being nice to me insincerely? Why the insecurities??

I really need a someone. A someone to lend me ears. A someone to lend me a shoulder to cry on. A someone who could fulfill my needs. A someone who could give the fullest attention to me, well at least a bit if so. A someone who cares for me. A someone whom I could chatter to all night. A someone to carve a smile in my heart. A someone to confide into. A someone who doesn't get bored of me. A someone to instill love in me. A someone that I could trust most. A someone to support me when I'm down. A someone to strengthen my weakness. Last but not least, a someone like I had last year..
-I feel like trash now-

2009-02-04T07:34:00.000-08:00

Untitled

I happen to be very frustrated lately practically because I suck in quadratic equation. I'll fail add maths for sure. Great. Another burden to carry. Teachers aren't in school nowadays, don't know why. Which brings us to hours of lesson-free. Probably it sounds great but its actually something to worry about as my class is actually proceeding on a slow pace. Yes! It adds to my burden. But nevertheless, it gives us a time out because so far, we have no homework! That's something everyone should be jubilant about:)
Oh, now Dona is on Anis's side. Seriously guys, won't you ever stop? Hahaha..XD And Dona, please don't be sensitive about what I said. Its specifically for Nazli. Okie? So don't "terasa"! Haha..

Oh, my biggest awaiting event of the week! Prefects' Camp!!! Lalala... I can't wait for the day after tomorrow! Hehehe...Though there'll be lectures, we will surely have fun as well! I'm really excited! Go jungle trekking.....wee~:)

Think I'll have to stop rambling. Need to complete a rumusan now. Till then. Sayonara!

2009-02-02T00:45:00.000-08:00

My Train Of Thoughts and a bit of poetry

I don't know why but lately I feel everything seems so topsy turvy. There's this one friend of mine, we're close. Well, very close as he is the only one close enough to know most of my secrets..but I think since we barely meet and talk, our ties seem to loosen. I mean no longer close friend now. At first it sort of distraught me, well I'm not used to not chattering with him. It has been ages since we both actually 'talk'. For now I just lock that away in both my mind and heart. Its not a pleasant feeling mind you. Well, probably he's gotten himself engaged with other girls he finds more interesting and worth talking to, I might just be some kind of rubbish to him now. Gosh, now I'm feeling morose and sad as well. He is just a friend, but one of those I really cherish. Only time could tell what will happen after this. Hahaha...like I think nothing will. Things will stay as it is as I could see the difference of his attitude towards me. Less friendly, more of I-don't-care-for-you-type. Well, if thats the case, shouldn't I give him the I-don't-care-for-you attitude too? But thats the problem, I do really really care for him, and I can't exactly do that without hurting my feelings as well. Quandary again..But I keep reminding myself that no longer associating myself with him too bleeds. I can't make up my mind now. For now I'm just ignoring him, let him be oblivious to my awareness, my surroundings.. But then AGAIN, its not nice at all. Why can't I stop caring for him? Why can't I care for someone else as much as I care for him? Why? That question remains a mystery. But for what I know, he holds a certain meaning to me. Why is that so? Don't ask me. But it is inevitable that I may fall for him someday, somehow. And I don't want that to happen, ever. I'm just going to avoid that feeling from conquering me until the day I'm too weak and emaciated to withstand that growing feeling in me. Seriously, he has no freaking idea how much he is to me.

This is something I wrote in conjunction with the upcoming day all couples are waiting for. I hope it is good and worth reading :)

Love Poem

Torn apart
I know it alright
That things weren't right
After that hell of a fight.

I use my might
To put it aside
But you came at night
To set things right.

I was befuddled
After it was settled
That you went through the battle
To make things matter.

I question and sigh
As you never reply
Instead you came by
Answering "Would you be mine?"

That day shined
As I had a big smile
"Would you be mine?"
"Indeed would I be your valentine!"

-Loving you always- Amal.R

2009-02-02T00:19:00.000-08:00

Its Over

I can't believe it! Ashwini just forced Adilah and I into kawat! Damn it! Just my freaking luck! Its utterly impossible for me to kawat. Sheesh...its a waste of time. waste of energy. No freaking way I'm joining it! I'll just be obstinate and get the hell out of it.

How fast time flies, its already the second day in February. Did January just passed? Didn't even realise that. That goes the same to our Chinese New Year holidays.Oh, totally forgot but,

Happy Belated Chinese New Year!!!!!

Hahaha..I'm an old granny! Our interlude after hours of (labour) is over. Darn it. I wasted all the time I had to revise some stuff as well as do some things I needed to. Now its me again with my usual pathetic routine. School and homeworks and homeworks and homeworks! Though the thought of it is scary, I mean really, a year of it!!! Anyway, my Physics teacher got replaced. Guess what? I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but I really miss the old one we had. Gosh, whatever her name is, she's no good in teaching. Yikes! Double trouble for my Physics! So to relieve the stress I'm facing, I indulge into music. Yep, music. The only cure. gaahhh...

Oh, another news. Aunty Fara from my arabic centre actually ordered my sugees.. But we contributed, without charge obviously, because it is for the cause of Palestinians. Well, did my part I suppose. Can't help believing that she actually meant what she said at the centre months ago.. mind boggling..really..

Adious for now...XD

2009-01-29T00:38:00.000-08:00

Something On My Mind

Ok, I'm actually supposed to off the computer but chose to post someting else. Well its about my friends.
I don't know why, but I'm having different perception about each and everyone of them now. Like the person I cared most, turns out to be an annoying git. Meanwhile the one I less cared for, turns out to be angelic. Well I have to mention one name, its because of her I had the idea of writing this. Well, Anis, you're certainly, I mean waywayway....nicer. How come I didn't see that? Maybe you did change in a positive way after what we talked about that day. I mean the 2 hours talk thingy, remember? It pleases me anyway.. The fact that I'm writing this, is because of yesterday. At Wongs, I sort of saw well, I couldn't explain, but the better part of you so to speak. Thanks for that! :) Anyway, there are more to list but I picked Anis because it has been a verrrry long time since I actually complimented her! Hahaha... Too much sarcasm! hehe... now back to studying for real! Toodles!

p/s: You seriously WILL miss me if you go to Sri Putri!

2009-01-29T00:08:00.000-08:00

Definitely Not My Type Of Jargon

I'm seriously befuddled with the jargons my two brothers are using. They curse differently, well slightly humorous all the time, but I still couldn't understand what the words mean. They are never going to tell anyway. Okay, anyone out there knows what "CB" and "JeeJee" means? If you do, please inform, because I'm dying to know what the heck that means. Well Alya and I use it, parody of my brothers.. haha..but in a state of oblivion to what it means. Gah!

I finally completed Puan Khadijah's rumusan!!! At last! It wasn't tough as I've learnt that in school prior to our lesson last week, and.....She gave us a few paradigms for us to COPY, I guess...Amal you're such a cheater! Not paradigms, just a few sets of words, how to use them and stuffs... Exaggerated! I wonder why can't I ever be exceedingly good in BM as well as English? and Arabic? For one thing, I speak English all the time, much to the detriment of other languages...hahaha... What am I gibbering anyway?

Should I tell the whole world, that...okay this doesnt make sense as I am telling the whole world even by telling that I'm not telling or debating whether should I tell or not. Got it? Okay fine, straight to the point. My parents are coming home tonight! So no more sneaking to use the computer ever again! At least until they go off for another honeymoon again! So I guess I'll be blogging once a week as that's how my dad had set the rules. Till then, I can't reveal the stream of thoughts I always have in mind. Haih...

I don't know why, but lately I feel dejected, crestfallen...melancholic. God knows why, I don't. I think maybe its a sign telling me to..... STOP BLOGGING AND CONTINUE WITH THE HOMEWORK!!!! Sorry guys (hahaha, as if people are interested in my blog) got to get going. Continue fidgeting in my sit writing down stuff, maybe not, doodling! Hahaha..what ever but as long as I get back to my desk pretending to study. I seriously will after some time anyway.. Till then.

ma'assalamah...(since when I started using Arabic again??)

2009-01-28T07:05:00.000-08:00

My Amazing Tale Of Stupidity

I actually just got back from accounts tuition, well not really to be exact. You see, I don't normally on the computer at night. Practically its a forbidden rule. Strictly prohibited by my dad! But well, how do I put this? Okay, here's the story I can't wait to tell, seeing that I actually marathoned up to blog about this. Hahaha... Okay, here goes. After tuition, the customary thing everyone would do is to check their phones, to see whether there are any messages or missed calls. Same goes to me. XD I was rather spluttered to see a list of 'new events' in my phone! Especially if it came from my brother and sister! "Whats the emergency?", I figured. Did somebody met with an accident? As I went on reading, I snorted and exclaimed loudly " They forgot to bring the bloody house key!!!!" HAHAHAHA! We were rushing out the house to send me to tuition and had completely forgotten about the keys! Now, tuition commenced at 8 and ended 2 hours later. Imagine the fate of my brother and sister during that period of time??? They were grousing all long and finally agreed to go to a friends house. Thank goodness they're smart asses or else they'll rot in that confined space (the car!) seriously, it could be squeezy with boxes and books. Alas, that's a guy's car, what do you expect? And luckily Abajaf brought the keys along to work, or we're doomed when my parents come back from their honeymoon! So there! An awesome story of mine!! :D Oh, another thingy, I'm kind of pissed off with my brother now. He's like blaming us for everything. Let make this official. He's a prat for now. He got onto Alya's nerve too. So we're like totally against him. I mean we know its a blunder that we kept the keys off our minds, but its total injustice to fire at us! agreed? After all....brothers remain annoying as ever...

p/s: Oh, anis..let chitchat once in a while..*wink*
p/s/s: Wtv la AIMAN....:p (I look like a maniac banging on the window!)

2009-01-27T04:14:00.000-08:00

Exercising at last!

Today was most tiring! Went for a jog with Alya just now. Detoured to the grocers and continued. She's asleep now. Pity her panting after 2 rounds. After all, she's down with some sickness...whatever it is. Nothing to write about actually. Just wasting my time before my teacher comes. Learning add maths, bio and physics, I think. Hope things would be a lot more easier after this class. Till then, chao.

p/s: To a friend, I'm really2 sorry about my attitude this past few days. Don't know what had gotten into me. You have been so nice and I didn't appreciate that. Sorry again:)

2009-01-26T02:30:00.000-08:00

Here Comes Adam!

Guys, meet Adam my baby nephew I've been wanting to show the whole world:) Isn't he adorable. Can't wait to cuddle him when he gets here with his mum soon! XD

2009-01-26T00:47:00.000-08:00

Excerpt

and then a hero comes along
with the strength to carry on
and you cast your fears aside
and you know you can survive
so when you feel like hope is gone
look inside you and be strong
and you'll finally see the truth
that a hero lies in you....

-hero, mariah carey-

I don't why, but I'm like a devotee to this song. Especially this part of it. Seriously, its meaning is profound and deep. I'd like to know who the song writer is. And Mariah...Man, I love her prowess in singing. Her voice never cease to enrapture me in my own dream-like world. What has gotten into me, I don't know. But I'm really into her evergreen songs now, thanks to my brother :)

Okay, I was just chatting with Dee, and she reminded me of something that was supposed to occur at 4.30 pm, and the current time is 6.10 pm. Thats 1 hour 40 minutes past the presumed time the eclipse should take place! Pity Dee, she had her camera stand by.. This evidently shows, NO one could predict or foresee whats going to happen.Not even the mad scientists. Because you know why? Obvious isn't it? Its Allah's will. See, whatever they deduced didn't happen after all. Another lesson for us to learn.

I don't even know why am I in front the computer! I'm supposed to be at my desk, fidgeting here and about while completing my homework. I'm going regret neglecting it..

2009-01-24T00:33:00.000-08:00

The Prominent Star In My Life

Holidays with a mountain of homework to do. What an irony...pfft!! Plus, I'm trying out debating at the preliminary rounds on Monday.. Goosebumps are popping now! Anyway, just completed add maths.. 2 questions left. I spent hours on that 2 particular questions to no avail. Haih..Kaif, where are you? I'm in dire need of guidance. So much for 'nice and helpful' brothers.... They'll help me eventually. I mean who could stand getting bugged by Amal? Hahaha...no la..I love my brothers..Syahidah, if only you were reading my blog, I would 'entice' you with stories about them! XD

Just a brief about my favourite subjects for now.. I enjoy having Agama classes. Especially when ustaz is teaching us..For one thing, he is not like other teachers who are pretty pedantic. After all, this is our 2nd year with him:) Second, add maths. Though I'm doing good as far as I'm concerned, it could be a pain in my ass...duh..sitting scribbling numbers every second, oblivious to the time ticking. There's where I get my eye bags from. But having it solved pays it off. Modern Maths is like the simplest..And I could be careless at times..Ain usually mocks and laugh it off. Typical her. I'm getting use to her ways. My lov-er. hahaha...

Getting side-tracked now. Actually I'm supposed to blog about something that has been going on my mind. Here goes.

Its about a friend of mine, I'd like him to remain anonymous. Well, last year was certainly an inauspicious year for me. Terror. You name it. Missing 3 jewels in my life was such a huge loss. Imagine how it felt. But somehow luck sided me. I found a diamond instead. You got it there. Anonymous is the diamond. This person shone in my life at times when I needed a shoulder to cry, an ear to listen to my perpetual problems. Well, this person is the first I would approach, I would confide to whenever I'm vexed with something disturbing. Be it important or trivial. Try picturing what a big role he plays. He is the lead actor in the puzzling drama that has been traversing in my life. Throughout my adversities, he was the one who picked me up when I tripped and stumbled (so did my family, not that I'm unthankful but I'm just placing him in the limelight for now)
Now that all ends well, I still hadn't forgotten the favours he did for me. Even a thousand words can't carve the meaning he holds in my life. It would be too hard for me as I can't find words to express. Its not the usual feeling people feel. Like I once told him its a jumble of feelings all gathered in a heap. Only he knows, I think. Don't be too judgemental and get the wrong idea of him or who he is. You have no idea. He is just a platonic friend I cherish most. Though the plane is smooth now, he stills manages to bring some live and vibe in the dullness of my life. I'm etching a smile now as I'm blogging about him. Thanks a million, GREAT person. Thanks for solving the conundrums in my life. Wee~ Hahaha....:D Well, I have had rainbows in my life, so i think you should be ermm...what about the star in my life? What do you think? XD

2009-01-22T01:05:00.000-08:00

Quote Of The Day

"LOVE DOES NOT COME BY FINDING THE PERFECT PERSON, BUT BY LEARNING TO SEE AN IMPERFECT PERSON PERFECTLY"

-quoted from Jason Jordan

ily, haha:D i'm in a quandary(means being in a perplexed state or practical dilemma)

2009-01-22T00:29:00.000-08:00

Total Nothingness...

Just got back from prefects meeting, with another pile of to-do-list. How peculiar it seems that I'm not at all exhausted despite the fact that I slept at 12.30pm...hmm..anyway, I'm exuberant about the petition for 3s to be placed in one class! Family!!! Kaif's genius idea :) although I think Jamsiah won't entertain, I mean its such a huge request. But then again....family comes first! Hahaha! Before I spoil my mood,

THANKS DEE FOR THE AMAZING BLOGSKIN!

I kind of hate Physics right now..For one reason, the teacher sucks. I hardly understand what the heck he's teaching. He thinks were smart alecs to be left clueless. And.....I hate his look. I know I'm being Cruella De Vil. Who cares?? I need to score an A1 for SPM. Bio is no good either. The teacher ALSO thinks were brainiacs...Chemistry, so far could say that its proceeding well. Sham Zalina is the best, thats what people say.. But nevertheless, lots of memorising. I won't be able to relax during the Chinese New Year's break. So much for a holiday!! :( Add maths is AWESOME!!!!

lets see, Composite function. Absolute function. Inverse function. Totally off the hook! I enjoy it thoroughly..really mean it, not being superficial. Maths as usual. Sejarah. Total boredom. Mesopotamia whatever it is. Why do we have to study it, remind me again? Anyone? Justify please? Oh, and I'm a total loser in BM. I'm going to suck in English too if Azwani is NOT going to give us any essays! Total chagrin so to speak. And, I enjoy Accounts immensely! Pity aiman he had to endure 2 hours of amalism!! *chuckling*

Oh, another thing, I want to pay some sort of 'tribute' to anis faiqa binti awang dollah and nur ain binti azlam shah for taking those pictures!! Actually, you guys just gave me a super brilliant idea. Thank you for that...:D I'm really going to get you guys back for that! Hahahaha... But for now let me enjoy all the publicity I get for posting them on your blog! Triple HAHAHAs!

Got go for now. Adios.

p/s: man, I miss you a lot!
p/s/s: my dad got himself a brand new phone!!! Gasp!

2009-01-15T06:43:00.000-08:00

Preoccupied. Rambles. News.

I guess the headline itself explains what am I going to prattle on. Tons and tons of homework to do. There's still a big pile of books on my table, waiting. Thats the price you have to pay for procrastinating! Mission: De-clutter the desk! fuh! Seriously, who's the demented fool who said form 4 is a honeymoon year??? Though I'm still enjoying school, reliving every moment the gust of wind blows....I'm exhausted!! It has just been 2 weeks and it felt like forever! Doing good with all subjects, coping as best as I could. Shockingly I love every subject eventhough the teachers might not have taught us up to our expectations. Practically everything is going through the pavement I've shovelled...well, there's a little bit of icy snow left.. You get what I mean, If you don't, forget it.

Ok, I touched something about the wind, didn't I? Well, I don't need to tell because everyone knows it has been exceptionally windy these few days.. I love the breezy wind everytime it blows gently on my face. So refreshing, enlivening.. Its a blessing for me as its the only thing that could lift up my spirits. Alhamdulillah, Praise be to Allah.. You see, I've been under the weather for 3 whole weeks.. When am I going to get going??? And I'm missing softball. Shit.

Lets move to 4K. Things are on the pleasant side as (I think) everyone is getting along. Affable smiles, amiable gestures, don't you think they are just sweeties? Now I'm beginning to see the true hidden colours of my classmates. Well, for now they are the bright ones! Lets hope none of us reveal our dark colours as it would jeopardize the ties between us.. The whole lot of girls are friendly as ever...lets exclude one or two..(haha!) Boys...still the same.. I want my clique of guy friends..sighing..Getting use without them, but its not wrong to miss your friends right? Oh, another good news! DEE WILL BE JOINING US NEXT MONDAY!!!!! Awesome!

World news: Woe for the Palestinians. Its excruciatingly painful to the heart reading all those innocent, pure lives being massacred. Have the Israelies no mercy?? Yes, they don't indeed! They, are, in fact beasts. Savaging every living thing that crosses their path! Merciless! Inhuman! Barbaric! Brutal! Every profanities people, use it against them!! Lets us pray to Allah The Almighty for this genocide to stop.

O Allah, please send down you mercy to the people of Palestine. Give those who jihad in your path, the jannah. Provide the inflicted ones with shelter. O Allah, for they are in dire need of your help now, O Allah The Most Merciful.. Ameen..

2009-01-10T02:25:00.000-08:00

Babbles

I think I'm going nuts. Everyone is hating school and I'm so not! Haha.. I'm really looking forward everyday. In fact, I'm beginning to get use to my class, its ambience and everything. Including the fact that most of my cliques are not with me! Make new friends laaaa...:)

Today I attended the Mesyuarat Agung for co-curiculum. I went late. Not because I overslept! I actually woke up at 5.30am thinking it was a normal schooling day. (Didn't I tell that I'm enjoying school???) Muahaha! XD I'm someone who's punctual ok! Just some complications. Hehe...In time for PBSM meeting, halfway through though..haha..Then Maths Club. Didnt get any post, as usual. By the way, the elections were boring.

THEN, Anis, Dyla, Ghavi and I went to Dataran Perdana to paint lines for the students to line up. I swear it was fun! Merely because we had paint all over our hands! Haha...and serve Dakshan right, I manage to dab some paint at his ever-so-clean hands (you know what I mean) and a teeny weeny bit at his pants! Seriously Dakshan, HAHAHAHA! I know you're gonna get at me back for this! Too bad you can't catch me! BUT painting a pathetic piece of 'art' is cool! I think I miss Seni. Gasp! :p

Anyway later after Anis and Dyla went back, we hang around for awhile, talked to the KP about our self-made rumours between him and Ilyani. Seriously, he's a nice guy. Hahaha..he looked unfriendly before. Well, then later walked back, stop by a stall to buy Ali some rojak :p Got home, cook myself my-so-called lunch and slept. Haih...Amal, you're so gonna get fat doing that all the time!

After some beauty sleep then I washed up, prayed, relaxed with some music....plus a little bit of dancing, chitchat with Ali and here I am, blogging after googling about A.Samad.Said....Sivik homework. That teacher thinks were taking Sivik for SPM!

Speaking of Sivik, that reminds me I have some homework left. Not too heavy for a start. Bm, tuition,agama AND that Sivik. Phew.... Hoping to finish it tonight.

Oh! Did I inform that my DAD IS BACK??? Yay! On thursday, mama, abajaf and me went to KLIA to fetch Baba. I didnt have any lunch that day, just Aunty La's sandwich and my mineral water. Didnt feel that famished as usual. Perhaps I was anticipating my dads arrival with full of excitement! Anyway, Baba is of good health. He smells like Mekkah! Damn nice you know.....his attar, the musk is my favourite *wink*

Till my next post, who knows when....Adious

2009-01-07T00:38:00.000-08:00

Just the 3rd day in 4Kreatif

How am I to start this? I don't really hate my class, well not even considering liking it though.. OK its official. I'm in a dilemma on whether to change class or not. Come on. no Dakshan. no Aiman. no Jerrick. no Jen and her whole gang..no DEE!!!!! Seriously...4K sucks compared to 3S. Not that I'm not contented about having most of my friends in the same class, but my good friends are practically gone. Aiman, I miss babbling and arguing with you. Dakshan, lets talk some time?

Form 4 is not a honeymoon year as people say.Pfft!!

New subjects...new terminology...new exam formats

I'm not lost nor am I clueless, thank goodness! Well for the start..
Okay, lets see how my 3 days in 4K passed by..

Sham zalina's teaching Chemistry..With her fast tongue (Cant believe she's not even tongue-twist!) I sure hope I could cope with all the new infos and facts..Praying hard... Then this wth is his name I can't remember teacher came in to replace Intan Salina for Physics...Let the world come to an end! Were like freaking hell doomed!!!!

Add maths was pretty cool..I suppose its just the first topic..long way to go... And no EST in our timetable. That makes things more frustrating! Oh yeah, Soleha's not teaching any more, shifted to another school, Dakshan told. haha...still gonna miss her!

I could perceive that life's getting hectic as I have to work harder, smarter. BM and English formats are a total horror! I don't know if I could juggle 12 subjects at one go... Taking accounts and tasawwur Islam.. And crap! Self- study. Even for tasawwur, Ustazah Salbiah told.. That makes it double! I don't know why the hell I'm so interested in it.

Plus..this year the f4 prefects will have to organise a farewell party for the f5 prefects...Customary thingy.. And the prefects duty..Gosh!! More responsibilities! Anyway, who cares? I have friends around me...not all exactly. But enough to keep me going for the whole year.. Add maths tuition starting tonight...Looking forward for accounts and BM (Can't find a teacher yet)

Best news of all...My dads coming home tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! Counting down the hours now...:)

Shit.

I still have the karangan to complete. more than 350 words.. Going to ransack my brains...duh! Its BM!

Adios...

Hey, just remembered my arabic class:D

2009-01-03T05:41:00.000-08:00

Hooked!

Today as I sat in front the computer, uncertain and undecided of what to do, I remembered a book I once read. Its called Life is an Open Secret. I read that around end of last year. That book inspired and changed me, as I was told by my parents. It really pleased them. So I went to retrieve the book kept hidden in one of the cupboard. Its a bit ragged but I appreciate and love it tremendously as it was an unexpected gift from my dad. So I began flipping the cover and the leaves of the book thinking of reading it again. It would be my third attempt though. Then I suddenly noticed that the author's website was printed at the back of the book. Full of adrenaline and excitement, I immediately type in

http://www.wisdomthruwords.blogspot.com/

Zabrina A.Bakar can never fail to impress me with her inspiring words and stories, quotes from prominent people and of course the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and his companions. If u were to read it as I strongly recommend u to, you will find most of your burdens you're carrying on the shoulders alleviated by promises from verses of the Qur'an which is by Allah SWT. Now I feel the urge to keep reading it non-stop and true enough, my heart is so light and free now. Do check it out some time :)

2009-01-02T06:39:00.000-08:00

miss my plain old me

I've got to get back on my feet now that school is commencing in 2 days time. So back to stinking prefects duty, waking up in the early morning (haha, but I enjoy the cool breeze), donning myself with the uniform, breakfast that would upset my tummy, a ride with Uncle, regular Monday assy, oh and the severely agonising torment of Jamsiah's long-winded, old lady-prattle-kind-of-speech....man, i'm rolling my eyes now..Oh the best part, back to studying! How I miss it during this holidays. My brain was left inactive for 2 bloody months and lets now reactivate it. Can't believe I'm moving to another stage of life. Come to think of it, 3 years of lower secondary was rather easy now that I'm prepared for a new challenge, tough one I'm sure. Lets see the books. Bio, Chem, Physics, Add Maths, EST.. Not new to anyone but it sure give me the creeps when I start browsing through each leaf. Formulas, structures, scientific names, theories...its all about memorising! Double challenge, Baba reckoned that I take extra subjects..like yay!!!! Actually, I do want too..haha.. So after the exultings, the happiness, back to my normal and usual mode. I miss that part of me that is always kiasu to study, do homeworks and readings.. Lacking of it has made me a totally boring person, literally mean it. Haih...so now I'm probably counting down the days to make a comeback at SMKTM.

2008-12-29T23:41:00.000-08:00

Kudos!

Mr Anxiety and Mrs Nervous are now gone, finally! We got our results this morning. What a relieve. Funny because just alphabets on a slip of paper could change everything. I'm glad I scored as I hoped throughout this year. 8As! Wonderful news is that majority of my classmates are straight A students too! Congratulations and felicitations guys! I know all those strenuous hard work have been paid off well. It was hell of a morning! People were shrieking, screaming their heads off..Well its really a big pay-off I guess.. I wasn't that ecstatic though, not to claim that I'm confident, but yeah, I was feeling rather empty when I received the results. Maybe the presence of my mum and dad would make things better. Too bad baba is still in Mecca and mum is too busy, I don't want to distrupt her work. Well my mood was certainly lifted the moment I got back as friends from other school began exchanging all the "congratz" thingy and stuffs. I really do miss them a lot. I manage to chitchat with them, catch up with a few stuffs, and now I'm way happier! Alhamdulillah I thank Allah for this achievement:)

2008-12-29T06:12:00.000-08:00

A change to make

1430 hijrah. A brand new book. A fresh unwritten page. A tale to be composed. What is a new year to us muslims? This new year as I take, is to be a headstart for a journey I would venture. For 365 days would I explore my mind and soul for things that its meaning are so profound. Last year, was a year I've learnt the meaning of true friendship, disposition of certain people, all things that were fairly unpredictable. I learnt that little insignificant and mundane things could merge into something of huge importance when a slight mistake was done upon. I learnt that being humble and giving in is not a failure but victory in Allah Almighty's sight though it may demote our pride. So many things in life have I learnt from my wise father and my loving mother and also through contemplation of my very own thoughts. I'm looking forward, to take advantage of this new year to turn into a new leaf. I want to eliminate all the vile intentions I have in my heart. I want to make a change for the better as I once read somewhere that, "all good things come from Allah but all bad and evil things come from ourselves". It is us that inflict upon ourselves ill fortunes. We must have had done something to earn Allah's wrath. So whatever that had been ordained for us all points back to us, not anyone else. I used to blame others for any misfortune that happened. But now as I grow, I matured, I could see the reasons behind all those unfateful events that occured to me and to those around me. Now I see why. As I said, we muslims must take last year as a lesson to remember, a memory to treasure. After all, what could be more precious than memories and experience in life?

To all Muslims out there, I wish all of you an auspicious Awal Muharram. May this be a step for us to reach out for our goals in life. May Allah be with those who are pious and righteous and also show His light to lead those astrayed. Insya-Allah.

To all PMR students, wishing you all the best and goodluck. Be content with whatever result we get for we totally battled our hearts out during that one week. So be satisfied with it for Allah has set the best for all of us, Insya-Allah.

MIssing The Rainbows Of My Life

2008-12-24T05:44:00.000-08:00

Missing The Rainbows Of My Life

There you go, the group of people who made my ultimately boring holiday a most memorable one. The memory is still vivid. I remember the first day I attended the class. It was freaky. All I saw was new faces, a fluent arabic speaker and the last thing I knew, a string of unknown phrases was thrown at me. I was tongue-tied, gobsmacked! How will I survive a month of 24/7 arabic speaking in class? What a horror! The new faces in class was rather impassive. No smile, just a stare. I had goosebumps. What if they could speak this foreign language? And I can't. Total embrassment! Soon I began to realise that I was catching up fast and we were on the same phase. Class began to get exciting. Then came another girl. She looked smart and I don't know why but I felt spooked! (silly I know) We didn't really break the ice until came another girl. She looked pleasant and outgoing. She was friendly and I liked her almost immediately. Things began to warm between me and these wonderful people. I enjoyed the class immensely. Though it was pretty annoying that I have to wake up at 7.30am every morning, but I was eager to learn. My sleepy-lazy-to-wake up mood would switch to hype mode whenever the building is in sight. How i'm going to miss that place! My lovely Algerian ustazah was such a dear. I took her as if she was my big sister I never had. I love her smile, I love her cute laugh. I love everytime she would rapp the table because I was busy chatterring with the others. I love her expression everytime we got our sentences right. So a month passed by, like the wind blowing upon your face and then its gone. Just like that. Today is the pit stop for all the classes we had. It was now then that I realise I won't be seeing the centre, I won't be learning new words from Ustazah Khadijah, I won't have regular chats with the girls, I won't be able to have tea and biscuit like we always do, I won't be able to say goodbye to my friends because today is the final goodbye. No more goodbyes. Its not even a day but I'm missing them already. I want to talk to Nadine because she's so sweet. I want to discuss with Kak Fatimah about food, our interests. I want to talk to Shazwina about 'her pregnancy' (haha!). I want to talk to Fatin about Twilight and Edward Cullen. I want to talk to Najwa because she could be so sweet and funny at times. Technically, I want to meet up, throw them a big hug and tell how much I miss them.

Before leaving the centre for maybe who knows, one last time? we threw a party for memory's sake. Though it wasn't as happening as 3S class party, we took the opportunity to spend our last moments together with full of joy. You see, I'm blogging with a big smile on my face :) That was the time too that I was hit with realisation that friendship couldn't be bought. It has to be earned. Though it was just a month spending time together, we were like a family. Now I know why I miss them tremendously, because they had indeed painted a rainbow in my life.

Ma'assalamah wa Ilalliqa' friends....

2008-12-19T09:12:00.000-08:00

Ennui...not again

I don't know why am I still up. I'm was sleepy yet I couldn't sleep. What a paradox. I'm blogging but I don't know exactly what to blog. I need a mawdu'...Okay lets just talk about life. Where do I start? Hmm..I don't even know how will this go. I'm just going to spill the beans. I feel like my life is now a topsy-turvy..weehee... I'm suddenly deranged, loony. Gosh, what the hell am I babbling? Oh, back to life..boredom for now. No exams, no anxiety, no squabbles, no nothing. So what is life to me now? Simple. Killing time. There you go. For now I'm staring at the computer (obviously) thinking of what to write next, my eyes shift to my book. I'm debating on whether to read it or not. Nope I conclude. What else? Now thats silly, I'm in the haunting darkness, what else could I perceive? Blank. Again. Its oblivious that sometimes I would take 10 minutes to write a sentence. Thats not called blogging is it? Construction of sentences. Eureka!!! Now I'm having something on my mind!! Finally! I want to watch Mamma Mia the musical.. Read the papers and tell me its not interesting.. I watched a couple of musicals before like Hang Li Po, Puteri Gunung Ledang...It was a tremendously excellent showmanship. I couldn't help envying all these talents. I wish I was one But alas, a hope remains just a hope. I'm never into arts actually! Hey, that reminds me of Hayani..haha.. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I sort of miss her now...and her antics! Seriously, who could forget that 'cat and the kfc' story? Ludicrous it may sound, but yeah, that's Hayani. Uniquely artistic too.. O-kay..what else could I babble about? Yeah, thanks friend, you gave me this wonderful idea! (You know who you are, lala) Dreamguy! What do I wish for in a guy? I want him to be the similar type of block as me. Practically we could understand each other. He would know why am I this and that... But on second thought, I would want someone who's a total opposite of me. Yin and Yang, hot and cold, black and white ( mind you, listen to Katy Perry's Hot n Cold if you want all the opposites!) I could venture into another soul and learn more about it. Sounds interesting, right? Perhaps I should opt for this kind of guy. We'll have frequent fights, shouts, rebelling, confrontation! How cool could that be? How could that make this boredom vanish? Great idea to me. Till then. I want to bobo.

p.s: how many times have I side-tracked? haha:)

2008-12-18T08:13:00.000-08:00

Memories of a Stalker

That day, mama was just telling me that maybe we'll be going down to malacca for a few days. That reminds me of this little secret i kept for a long time. When I was 9, (I think) we went to this hotel. Century Mahkota if i'm not wrong. I met this boy..mind you he's a white..and cute. We played like nobody's business. I remembered we first started talking at the slide when he was giving way to me. Charming right? And thats how we became fast friends (for just 4 silly days). I was jealous when I saw him playing with another girl! ITS IDIOTIC I KNOW! I think I was being kind of a sneak. I stalked on him!! (how childish) Our balcony was facing the pool, so I took every opportunity to look out for him. He was playing with another girl at that time..Too bad I couldn't butt in, we were checking out that day :( He lives at SS17. Hah! I still remember! Gosh, I'm Little Miss Stalker!

World, witness my confessions

2008-12-16T01:31:00.000-08:00

World, witness my confessions

Its hurts when you break up with your boyfriend. It sucks when your sister calls you a big fat pig. But its more agonising to break a relationship with your bestfriend. Let me stress it again. Bestfriend. I'm writing this to share a story where its cuts and pain had been bandaged and I had my pain-killer, today:) Breaking off things wasn't a pleasant event. We both knew that. But it still happened despite years of close-knitted friendship. I have to scorn at that, surely.. It wasn't just a mere silent treatment, it was more. Mocking at each other, shooting each other dagger-like looks..yet, it could have been worse. We both misinterpreted our actions, taking it from the bad and evil point of view.. Say..we were cynics.. We wanted to believe that every vicious word, deplorable deed was true eventhough we both knew deep inside it was all bullshit. Lets say our emotions got the better of us.. Anyway, that doesn't matter, for I got this person back after almost 8 shitting months of silent batttle and conflict. I would tell the world how much I missed her throughout that longest period of time...(gosh, how I jeered at her that time) She was my confidante, she was my boyfriend, she was my diary.. I lost that partly on accord of my own very deeds. I've never been so glad that the 8 months of war has finally ended with a 2 hour chat. It wasn't just any chat, it was tear brimming (its an understatement) and heart-relieving. Though I know the blame isn't entirely on me, but I feel obliged to whole-heartedly say, "I'm sorry, friend". Wipe the slate clean ok?

2008-12-13T06:31:00.000-08:00

LOVE AS IT IS...

Love is...as this picture defines, giving me no chance to elaborate further unfortunately. But to me, 'love is a drug' defines its exact meaning. I would actually like to highlight about how love has stealthily destroy our soul. You see folks, love is indeed something everyone vies for...War rages between people, battling for what we metaphorically call love, as victory. I've experienced several situations where my own friend would willingly sacrifice our long-built wall of friendship, making it fall apart as if it were twigs which just snapped. I personally think its antagonistic as others may think otherwise..I have to admit, young girls my age are absurdly daft(sorry) when it comes to love. How is it possible, such that two beings acquainted with each other at such a short period of time, be irrevocably in love as if they had known each other all through their lives? Its nonplussed at the idea of throwing away what seems to be like anything precious (eg. friendship, family ties) out of the window just for love? Its nonsensical!preposterous! Besides, love deviates you from your track of life. Just a story to share, a friend of a friend obligingly rejected a top university scholarship just to be with her starlet! Unbelievable, right? Look where love could take you to..Ponder on that before you even start on one. Is it worth having this love? Now, I want to share my views on love. My mum 'innocently' questioned me while shopping for groceries on whether I'm having a relationship. You see I've been surprisingly nice and helpful towards my mother this week (she thinks only a guy could change my atttitude. pfft!) So here's what I told her:
"Ma, its totally impossible for me to be in a relationship.(why?)Probably I'm a cynic, but I think its just a pile of garbage with all the mawkish stuffs people do and say. I just can't endure it! Its unbearably disgusting when guys becomes sentimental with the ILY, I CAN'T LIVE W/O YOU. Its utterly revolting ma..Face the fact that I'm single.(Now only you say, when a guy comes and capture your heart then only you know..I'll give you two years..) I doubt I'll fall and get infatuated that easily. (We'll just see about that!)"

*Sorry people, I'm just a pessimist when it comes to love! XD

Today Is A Different 'Everyday"

2008-12-11T06:54:00.000-08:00

Today Is A Different 'Everyday'

Everyday...I sigh everytime I come to think of it..But today proves to be a nice turn for once. Instead of my normal, forever ever routine throughout this school-free period, I went to Dee's house! At last... You see, I have to admit this so called dumbass-ness of mine. I'm actually so not, will never be a computer-sav! So dearest Dee agreed willingly on helping me( I love you so much!) and that's how I ended my ass the whole evening at her house. Her nephew was so adorable! Anyway, we managed to catch up with each other's latest gossip and it turn out..well, to be pretty unpredictable..just some dark secrets! Juicy ones I might say! Anyway, my day turned out to be pleasantly different for a change:)

Now, lets just stop talking about my day.Hehe... My dad's sick! This news really really agonizes me. Mum broke the news just as I came back from Dee's house:( haih...Baba said he misses us and wants to go home. But he can't lose the opportunity to visit Madina right? I miss Mekkah and Madina..Its so serene and tranquil over there..

More news to break! My cousin gave birth to a baby boy! They will name him Adam! I can't wait to pose my role as a perfect aunt!:) A loving aunt to cute little Adam(I haven't seen him, though I'm positive he'll be cute;))

Basically..that's all about today's event..I'm still figuring out a topic to write on..not just crapping like this.

A Colourful Day

2008-12-11T04:47:00.001-08:00

A COLOURFUL DAY

I just came back from my arabic class and thought I had a time of my life!! After PMR you don't just sit and laze around, becoming a couch potato (its satisfying though after all that torturous period of constant studying!) but you do realise that where had all the fun in life went missing? It took me just a few days to grasp that! Surely life couldn't be this BORING and EMPTY? So many things took place. I went on this exercise regime, outings with my sister, movies, just a little bit of shopping and yet, I wasn't contented! I soon realised something was missing..that is of course, I immensely miss my friends..I want to have girl talks, serious discussion, fights..Lame huh? I'm missing school generally..and my gossip brain! Haha.. So back to where I was getting to. Maybe I didn't get to meet my friends, or catch up with them, but I certainly made NEW ones!! Gosh, they're AMAZING! At first sight I thought, these people sure look unfriendly....and guess what? Just 3 days and I was eating my words back! You see, they are most humorous, extrovert and best of all, chatterboxes! Haha... I predicted that the arabic class would be quiet and stonecold. Instead, it was the noisiest! We laugh like a bunch of apes and the ustazah was sooo... cool with that! Just that day, we had this small celebration in conjunction with Eidul Adha, and it was a blast!!!! The food was heavenly scrumptious!!!!! At the end of the day, we didn't really learn...we chattered about how to cook rendang to our Algerian ustazah (She's a true beauty), arguing with each other at the same time!:) Imagine a troop of apes trying to teach you to how to be like tarzan. You'll never get it right, and its bound to twist your head in a knot! So at the end we were basically laughing our heads off at the futile attempt of teaching in arabic! Told you I had the time of my life:) Thanks to Fatin, Najwa, Fatimah and Nadine for making my day colourful!

Dad?

2008-12-09T06:13:00.000-08:00

My dad left for Mecca about 2 weeks ago. I really miss his presence lately..I even dreamt about him coming home early..You see, dreaming about my dad never occurred before! So it was a really pleasant surprise! To my consternation, my dad just called today! You know how thrilled I was? He sounded lively, much to my relieve. His unexpected call really enlivened my day. Soon after that, I was swept by this realisation that I really really want this man to be with me, right now. I miss his dashing smile, I miss his voice calling for me, his constant motivations. Seems to me now that life isn't perfect with my dearest father